Hammered

again and refocused on my healing, closing my eyes. When I opened them again, Perun’s arrows had been removed, and he was urging a giggling Zhang Guo Lao to have just one more shot of vodka with him as they sat on the boulders around the fire pit. And it was daytime.
    » Where’s Leif? « I said. » Guys? Where’s Leif? «
    » Druid speaks! « Perun gushed, throwing his hands up in the air. The growth underneath his arms was nearly as full as his beard. A gigantic smile split his hairy face, and he said, » We should have drink! «
    » Honored Druid, « the immortal Zhang Guo Lao began, waving at me. He must have been deep in his cups, for this action caused him to slip off his boulder and fall backward, feet in the air. This set off Perun and he nearly fell over himself.
    » Guys? Seriously. Where’s Leif? «
    » Is fine, « Perun managed. » Is safe. We bury him behind you. « He pointed, and I turned to see three grave-shaped mounds of dirt. Perun’s voice was sober in my ears, hilarity gone: » We bury others also. Is okay? «
    I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. » You buried Gunnar? «
    » Da . You sleep standing up, could not wake, so we make us busy. «
    Zhang Guo Lao raised himself up to a sitting position and waved for my attention. » Honored Druid, I have a question. «
    » Yes? «
    » I have a question, « he repeated.
    » You said already, « Perun pointed out.
    » Thank you for your attention. My question is this: When are you going to put on some clothes? «
    I looked down and realized with some embarrassment that I’d left my clothes back in Asgard. It was precisely the reaction they’d been hoping for, and they clutched at their bellies and roared with unbridled mirth.

Chapter 28
    Zhang Guo Lao took his leave near midday and walked east with his pack and fish drum. He offered to donate a robe to me before he left » as a public service, « but I found a spare set of clothes in Väinämöinen’s pack that would serve—a simple pair of pants and a tunic that I tied up with a length of rope, since I didn’t find a belt.
    Perun agreed to help me transport Leif and Gunnar back to Tempe. We would have done something for Väinämöinen had we known where else to take him, but in the absence of better information, he had found his final resting place. We took turns saying a few words for him—inadequate for such a life—and bid him a somber farewell.
    » Why do you think the Norse have not come here yet? « Perun asked. Now that it was just the two of us, we spoke Russian, in which he was far more fluent than I.
    » They have funerals to conduct and a severe leadership crisis at this point, « I said. » And perhaps an identity crisis to deal with as well. Many of them have dedicated their very long lives to preparing for Ragnarok. Now they have undeniable evidence that it won’t happen as prophesied. «
    » Yes, they will need a new purpose, « Perun said. » I see. «
    » Beyond that, they have to use Bifrost to reach Midgard. They can’t shift planes the way I can. But since I blamed the dark elves and Bacchus, the Æsir will probably bother them first. «
    Perun chuckled. » That was good. It will give us time to hide. «
    » You’re going into hiding? «
    » Yes, for long time. «
    » Thunder gods don’t hide. «
    The Russian shrugged. » I am not like Thor. I have the Russian depth of character. And I like to help people, not hurt them. Usually I help with vodka. You want some? «
    » No, thanks, I don’t think that would be wise right now. I have a delicate digestive system at the moment. «
    He beamed at me. » I will help some other way. Sleep and heal more. I will watch. «
    Grateful for the chance to continue my recovery, I stretched out on the ground and dropped back into a healing trance. I still had a long way to go and I’d be on a liquid diet for a while, but nothing was leaking anymore and the acid was neutralized. I’d done very little about the wounds on the outside or the torn abdominal muscles, partly because they weren’t immediately dangerous and partly because they’d provide me a bit of safety when I had to face Hal. He had to know already that Gunnar was dead, because the alpha magic would have settled on his shoulders by now.
    Perun woke me at sundown, and I felt much better inside. I might be able to concentrate on the muscle walls soon and devote some attention to a weak collarbone.
    I asked the earth to move aside from the bodies of Gunnar and Leif.