Hammered

rest of it is wildly off-kilter. If we can get Thor to come out and engage us somewhere on the Plain of Idavoll—the closer to Yggdrasil, the better—the Einherjar will not be able to mobilize in time to make any difference. They don’t have flying horsies like the Valkyries. They’ll have to march the whole way, and it will take them days. «
    » Yes, I see, « Leif said, » but how do we get Thor to come out? Won’t he simply sit behind the walls of Gladsheim, or Bilskirnir, and wait for us to come to him? «
    » Nah. All we gotta do is ridicule his strength or say something about his mom. He’s a bully, right? Bullies don’t fight wisely. «
    » Come now, Atticus, « Leif said. » How will he know we are even there, much less respond to a shouted taunt about his dubious parentage? «
    » Oh, he’ll know all right, « I said. » I have a plan, though in its current form it doesn’t take into account the abilities of the other members of our party. «
    » Let’s hear it, « Gunnar said, and Leif seconded the motion. I told them what I’d been cooking up, and they approved everything but the rubber suits and the climbing gear.
    » We will not be needing those, trust me, « Leif said. » So when is this going to happen? «
    » We leave tomorrow night. « Leif looked pleased at this news, but Gunnar seemed less than sanguine.
    » Must it be so soon? « the werewolf asked.
    » The Hammers of God plus an actual god are coming to slay me, so, yes, it must be. I’d rather be a slayer than the slain. «
    Gunnar looked at Leif. » That moves up your timetable significantly. «
    » Yes, but not impossibly, « the vampire replied. » Especially if the Druid helps. «
    » What are you talking about? « This was the part where we were supposed to wish each other good night and meet back here tomorrow at the same bat time. They sounded like they needed me for something else.
    Leif turned his ice-blue eyes on me and allowed a small smile to tug at the edges of his mouth. » Territory, naturally. «
    » Ah, yes, Hal mentioned to me earlier that you control the entire state. Congratulations. «
    Leif didn’t answer, and Gunnar took the opportunity to jump in. » Yes, well, word of his injuries has spread, and some vampires have come to investigate. «
    » I’ve heard, « I said. » Why don’t you serve ’em up a cease-and-desist letter? You guys are good at that. «
    » That is not how I respond to vampires in my territory, « Leif said without humor.
    » How do you respond, then? «
    » I destroy them. «
    Oberon spoke up.
    It’s difficult not to laugh when Oberon provides commentary like that, but I enjoy the challenge. It keeps me sharp. If I laughed or seemed the least bit amused, Leif would probably not take it well. And if he realized my dog was making fun of him, he’d be sure to take offense. So I carefully kept my expression neutral and said to Leif, » I see. And you’d like my help? As in, tonight? «
    » Yes. «
    That was precisely what I’d been afraid of. I sighed and said, » Leif, I need my sleep tonight, because I have a full day tomorrow and a long night after that getting us to Russia. I can’t afford to tax myself tonight if you want to make it to Asgard. Your territorial concerns will have to remain your concerns. I’m sorry. «
    » There are sixty-three vampires from Memphis at the Arizona Cardinals game right now, « Leif said, tapping the table with his index finger. » I could use someone to watch my back. «
    » How do you know they are there? «
    Leif ignored this and answered with another question. » Can I count on you, Atticus? «
    » Only to get some sleep. How do you know about the vampires? «
    My persistence didn’t pay off. He ignored me again and turned to Gunnar to ask him to come. Whenever I asked Leif a question about vampire hoodoo that he wanted to keep secret, he always pretended not to hear. Several months ago I had used this to my advantage. I’d taken him to his first baseball game ever, on a mild June night with the roof open at Chase Field as the Diamondbacks hosted the Padres. I’d known Leif would be curious about the