Hammered

would be shortly after the time Granuaile completed her training and became a full Druid.
    Correlation does not imply causation, I reminded myself. Maybe the sirens were talking about global warming.
    Perun was growing more convivial the more he drank. He was pounding two shots of vodka to every one of ours. Aside from getting happier, he showed no other effects of inebriation. Perhaps this was one of his godlike powers.
    » Is time for my tale, yes? « he said, rising smoothly to his feet and grinning amiably at us. » You maybe thinking, Perun just jealous of Thor. He does not want to share sky. But you would be wrong! « He pointed a finger at me and then waved it around clockwise to indicate everyone. » Plenty of sky for all gods. Plenty of men and women to make worship, plenty of vodka—hey. « He halted, raising his eyebrows at us and holding up his bottle. » You want more? « No one took him up on the offer, so he shrugged and poured himself a shot.
    » I drink alone, then. « He tossed it back, winced appreciatively at the burn in his throat, and exhaled noisily.
    » Ahhhh, is good. Good, very good. Now, listen like thieves. «
    I looked at him sharply to discern whether he’d intentionally alluded to an INXS song, but he appeared unconscious of making any pop culture reference at all, and no one else seemed to recognize it.
    » I tell you what happened. But I tell it short, yes? English is no good for me. «

Chapter 17

    The Thunder God’s Tale
    Americans say all men created equal. These words very good. Make men feel special. They know is not true, not really, but they always say is true, and they point to these words and say, Ideas like this make us strong. They turn mouse into bear. They turn dog into bear. Everything can become strong like bear if you think with American brains. But if everything is bear, what do bears eat?
    Americans want magic, perfect world. But these places only seen in movies. People never equal, same as animals never equal. There is always predator and prey. Little fish make dinner for big fish, yes? And there is always bigger fish.
    Is same with ideas. Exact same. Small ideas eat up by big ideas. Big ideas stay for long time in brains of men. Small ones forgotten; is like little fish eaten up by big fish.
    Gods are big ideas. They stay for long time in brains. They walk on earth or live in sky or water or under ground. But even gods can be eaten by bigger gods.
    I was eaten by Christ. You see? Christ ate many gods. I mean he ate me as idea, not as flesh. He ate me and other Slavic gods. He ate Celtic gods and Greek gods, Roman gods and Norse gods—even Väinämöinen here—and took their places in brains of men. Some of those old gods are dead now. Men have forget—no, forgot—them.
    But I am not gone from all brains yet. There are some who remember me. There are some who still worship. I will not die until they forget.
    Yet I am weak like kitten. Not strong like days before Christ came to my lands. And reason is Odin and Thor.
    At first I think only Thor did this. Later I think Odin ask him to do it. Thor comes to me and say, » My people build me finer statues than yours. They love me more than your people love you. Nothing is finer than statues and stone tributes. «
    He shows me his statues in Sweden. He shows me his tributes in Norway and Denmark, and they are fine indeed. I become envious. I become jealous. I ask my people to build me stone tributes. Wooden ones too. Not only for me but for my pantheon. This is how you show love for me, I say. And so my good people do this, and soon I have monuments and statues better than Norse ones.
    But later I see truth. Is hard to write on stone. So hard that it is better to write nothing at all. And any writing that goes on statues gets worn away by time. So then Christ comes with his reading monks and their printed word, and idea of Christ remains and grows while idea of Perun washes away in rain and wind.
    This is how gods are strong today. Christ, Allah, Yahweh, Buddha, Krishna: They have pages and pages of words about them. These words travel everywhere to bring idea of them to new generations. I have stone statues that travel nowhere. If lucky, I get half hour of man on History Channel asking who I was in deep voice.
    Odin saw this coming. He sent Thor to me to trick me into slow death. Then he sent Thor to Iceland to have their skaldic poets write Eddas . Centuries later, when it is too late, I see what happen. Norse