Harry Potter 05 - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

’ said Ron, ‘you’re in a right state!’
    ‘I’m tellin’ yeh, I’m fine,’ said Hagrid, straightening up and turning to beam at them all, but wincing. ‘Blimey, it’s good ter see yeh three again – had good summers, did yeh?’
    ‘Hagrid, you’ve been attacked!’ said Ron.
    ‘Fer the las’ time, it’s nuthin’!’ said Hagrid firmly.
    ‘Would you say it was nothing if one of us turned up with a pound of mince instead of a face?’ Ron demanded.
    ‘You ought to go and see Madam Pomfrey, Hagrid,’ said Hermione anxiously, ‘some of those cuts look nasty.’
    ‘I’m dealin’ with it, all righ’?’ said Hagrid repressively.
    He walked across to the enormous wooden table that stood in the middle of his cabin and twitched aside a tea towel that had been lying on it. Underneath was a raw, bloody, green-tinged steak slightly larger than the average car tyre.
    ‘You’re not going to eat that, are you, Hagrid?’ said Ron, leaning in for a closer look. ‘It looks poisonous.’
    ‘It’s s’posed ter look like that, it’s dragon meat,’ Hagrid said. ‘An’ I didn’ get it ter eat.’
    He picked up the steak and slapped it over the left side of his face. Greenish blood trickled down into his beard as he gave a soft moan of satisfaction.
    ‘Tha’s better. It helps with the stingin’, yeh know.’
    ‘So, are you going to tell us what’s happened to you?’ Harry asked.
    ‘Can’t, Harry. Top secret. More’n me job’s worth ter tell yeh that.’
    ‘Did the giants beat you up, Hagrid?’ asked Hermione quietly.
    Hagrid’s fingers slipped on the dragon steak and it slid squelchily on to his chest.
    ‘Giants?’ said Hagrid, catching the steak before it reached his belt and slapping it back over his face, ‘who said anythin’ abou’ giants? Who yeh bin talkin’ to? Who’s told yeh what I’ve – who’s said I’ve bin – eh?’
    ‘We guessed,’ said Hermione apologetically.
    ‘Oh, yeh did, did yeh?’ said Hagrid, fixing her sternly with the eye that was not hidden by the steak.
    ‘It was kind of … obvious,’ said Ron. Harry nodded.
    Hagrid glared at them, then snorted, threw the steak back on to the table and strode over to the kettle, which was now whistling.
    ‘Never known kids like you three fer knowin’ more’n yeh oughta,’ he muttered, splashing boiling water into three of his bucket-shaped mugs. ‘An’ I’m not complimentin’ yeh, neither. Nosy, some’d call it. Interferin’.’
    But his beard twitched.
    ‘So you have been to look for giants?’ said Harry, grinning as he sat down at the table.
    Hagrid set tea in front of each of them, sat down, picked up his steak again and slapped it back over his face.
    ‘Yeah, all righ’,’ he grunted, ‘I have.’
    ‘And you found them?’ said Hermione in a hushed voice.
    ‘Well, they’re not that difficult ter find, ter be honest,’ said Hagrid. ‘Pretty big, see.’
    ‘Where are they?’ said Ron.
    ‘Mountains,’ said Hagrid unhelpfully.
    ‘So why don’t Muggles –?’
    ‘They do,’ said Hagrid darkly. ‘On’y their deaths are always put down ter mountaineerin’ accidents, aren’ they?’
    He adjusted the steak a little so that it covered the worst of the bruising.
    ‘Come on, Hagrid, tell us what you’ve been up to!’ said Ron. ‘Tell us about being attacked by the giants and Harry can tell you about being attacked by the Dementors –’
    Hagrid choked in his mug and dropped his steak at the same time; a large quantity of spit, tea and dragon blood was sprayed over the table as Hagrid coughed and spluttered and the steak slid, with a soft splat , on to the floor.
    ‘Whadda yeh mean, attacked by Dementors?’ growled Hagrid.
    ‘Didn’t you know?’ Hermione asked him, wide-eyed.
    ‘I don’ know anythin’ that’s bin happenin’ since I left. I was on a secret mission, wasn’ I, didn’ wan’ owls followin’ me all over the place – ruddy Dementors! Yeh’re not serious?’
    ‘Yeah, I am, they turned up in Little Whinging and attacked my cousin and me, and then the Ministry of Magic expelled me –’
    ‘WHAT?’
    ‘– and I had to go to a hearing and everything, but tell us about the giants first.’
    ‘You were expelled ?’
    ‘Tell us about your summer and I’ll tell you about mine.’
    Hagrid glared at him through his one open eye. Harry looked right back, an expression of innocent determination on his face.
    ‘Oh, all righ’,’ Hagrid said in a resigned