Harry Potter 05 - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

front. ‘It says here you need at least “E” at N.E.W.T. level in Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts. I mean … blimey … don’t want much, do they?’
    ‘Well, it’s a very responsible job, isn’t it?’ said Hermione absently. She was poring over a bright pink and orange leaflet that was headed, ‘SO YOU THINK YOU’D LIKE TO WORK IN MUGGLE RELATIONS? You don’t seem to need many qualifications to liaise with Muggles; all they want is an O.W.L. in Muggle Studies: Much more important is your enthusiasm, patience and a good sense of fun !’
    ‘You’d need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle,’ said Harry darkly. ‘Good sense of when to duck, more like.’ He was halfway through a pamphlet on wizard banking. ‘Listen to this: Are you seeking a challenging career involving travel, adventure and substantial, danger-related treasure bonuses? Then consider a position with Gringotts Wizarding Bank, who are currently recruiting Curse-Breakers for thrilling opportunities abroad … They want Arithmancy, though; you could do it, Hermione!’
    ‘I don’t much fancy banking,’ said Hermione vaguely, now immersed in: ‘HAVE YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO TRAIN SECURITY TROLLS?’
    ‘Hey,’ said a voice in Harry’s ear. He looked round; Fred and George had come to join them. ‘Ginny’s had a word with us about you,’ said Fred, stretching out his legs on the table in front of them and causing several booklets on careers with the Ministry of Magic to slide off on to the floor. ‘She says you need to talk to Sirius?’
    ‘What?’ said Hermione sharply, freezing with her hand halfway towards picking up ‘MAKE A BANG AT THE DEPARTMENT OF MAGICAL ACCIDENTS AND CATASTROPHES’.
    ‘Yeah …’ said Harry, trying to sound casual, ‘yeah, I thought I’d like –’
    ‘Don’t be so ridiculous,’ said Hermione, straightening up and looking at him as though she could not believe her eyes. ‘With Umbridge groping around in the fires and frisking all the owls?’
    ‘Well, we think we can find a way around that,’ said George, stretching and smiling. ‘It’s a simple matter of causing a diversion. Now, you might have noticed that we have been rather quiet on the mayhem front during the Easter holidays?’
    ‘What was the point, we asked ourselves, of disrupting leisure time?’ continued Fred. ‘No point at all, we answered ourselves. And of course, we’d have messed up people’s revision, too, which would be the very last thing we’d want to do.’
    He gave Hermione a sanctimonious little nod. She looked rather taken aback by this thoughtfulness.
    ‘But it’s business as usual from tomorrow,’ Fred continued briskly. ‘And if we’re going to be causing a bit of uproar, why not do it so that Harry can have his chat with Sirius?’
    ‘Yes, but still ,’ said Hermione, with an air of explaining something very simple to somebody very obtuse, ‘even if you do cause a diversion, how is Harry supposed to talk to him?’
    ‘Umbridge’s office,’ said Harry quietly.
    He had been thinking about it for a fortnight and could come up with no alternative. Umbridge herself had told him that the only fire that was not being watched was her own.
    ‘Are – you – insane?’ said Hermione in a hushed voice.
    Ron had lowered his leaflet on jobs in the Cultivated Fungus Trade and was watching the conversation warily.
    ‘I don’t think so,’ said Harry, shrugging.
    ‘And how are you going to get in there in the first place?’
    Harry was ready for this question.
    ‘Sirius’s knife,’ he said.
    ‘Excuse me?’
    ‘Christmas before last Sirius gave me a knife that’ll open any lock,’ said Harry. ‘So even if she’s bewitched the door so Alohomora won’t work, which I bet she has –’
    ‘What do you think about this?’ Hermione demanded of Ron, and Harry was reminded irresistibly of Mrs Weasley appealing to her husband during Harry’s first dinner in Grimmauld Place.
    ‘I dunno,’ said Ron, looking alarmed at being asked to give an opinion. ‘If Harry wants to do it, it’s up to him, isn’t it?’
    ‘Spoken like a true friend and Weasley,’ said Fred, clapping Ron hard on the back. ‘Right, then. We’re thinking of doing it tomorrow, just after lessons, because it should cause maximum impact if everybody’s in the corridors – Harry, we’ll set it off in the east wing somewhere, draw her right away from her own office –