He Kills Me, He Kills Me Not

turned around and strode across the deck, ignoring the pain in her side. She kept hoping he’d run after her, call her name, but as she got into her car and drove away, the only sound she heard was her heart shattering into a million pieces.

 
     
    Chapter Twenty-Five
     
    L ogan stood frozen in place long after Amanda left. Any doubts he’d had about the way things had ended between them had evaporated when she’d marched across his deck toward him, her face red with anger.
    When he’d left her that note, he’d hated not being able to say goodbye to her in person. But after seeing her lying in a hospital bed, so pale and fragile, fighting for her life, he knew he couldn’t put her through the ordeal of having to face him again. She’d already made it clear, twice, that she no longer wanted anything to do with him. First, when she’d run from his study after realizing he’d let the killer go, and later, when she’d asked him, “Why did you take so long?”
    He wished to God he hadn’t taken so long, that he’d been able to put Riley behind bars before Karen and Amanda paid the price for his incompetence. He shuddered at the memory of Amanda lying in his arms, blood soaking through her tank top. He should have kept digging into Riley’s background even after Pierce’s men verified his alibi. He should have followed his instincts. Hell, he should have listened to Amanda when she’d written up her conclusions about the killer. But he hadn’t. He’d put her off, too stubborn to listen to her when he thought he knew what was best for her. All he could think about that day was getting her to a safe house. If he’d listened to her, she’d have never been hurt again.
    He’d failed her in every way that mattered. And then, apparently, he’d made it even worse by insulting her with the money he’d put in her account. He shook his head and kicked the pile of lumber, sending boards banging across the deck.
    Footsteps sounded from the stairs. Had Amanda come back? Had she changed her mind, decided to give them both one more chance in spite of everything he’d done? The flare of hope inside him died when Pierce appeared at the top of the stairs. He’d already stopped by earlier this morning, arguing with Logan about why he quit as chief of police. Had he come back for round two?
    “Save your breath, Pierce. I’m not taking my job back and I’m not in the mood for polite conversation.”
    “Good. I’m not in the mood to be polite. What the hell is wrong with you? You left Amanda a Dear John note?”
    Logan cursed and started re-stacking the lumber he’d just scattered across the floor. “I am not going to discuss this with you. If that’s why you drove out here again, you might as well turn around.”
    “Did you know she’s moving to Tennessee?”
    “I heard something like that.”
    Pierce grabbed his arm. “Did you know she’s leaving today ?”
    Logan dropped the two-by-four he was holding and shoved Pierce backward. “What do you want me to say? That I screwed up? Okay, I screwed up. I failed her. She nearly died because of me, twice. She doesn’t want me anymore. And I . . . respect her decision.” He stalked to the French door and threw it open, slamming it against the wall.
    Pierce followed him into the kitchen. Logan grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and took a long drink.
    “So that’s it? You’re just giving up?” Pierce said.
    Logan whirled around. “There’s nothing to give up. It’s over.”
    “If you really think that, you’re a bigger idiot than I thought. Wasn’t that her car I saw leaving? What did she say?”
    “None of your damned business.”
    Pierce shook his head. “I’ll lay odds she tried to give you one more chance and you threw it away. Damn it, man. What’s this really about?”
    Logan pushed past him to leave the kitchen but Pierce shoved him up against the wall. “She doesn’t blame you, Logan. What are you really afraid of?”
    Pain twisted in Logan’s gut. Pierce didn’t know what he was talking about. She blamed him, but no more than he blamed himself. He leaned his head back against the wall, all the fight inside him draining out. “Did I ever tell you about the research Amanda did? She went through the case files and created a list of suspects. Riley was at the top of that list. She even wrote that we should look into his records to see if he’d falsified his vacation dates. She tried to tell me about the list but I