Heavenstone 02 - Secret Whispers

wanted me to meet her so I would be more enthusiastic about having children. I even thought he had discussed it with Charles beforehand and encouraged them to be upbeat about their family life. All the way home, he raved about how wonderful their marriage was and how he had high hopes that ours would be as good. He urged me to get friendlier with Sandra, too.
    “You need friends, Semantha. You have to get out and about so you can look to the future and not dwell on the past.”
    When you had a past like mine, how did you not dwell on it? I wondered.
    My dreams, Cassie’s whispers, and my unhappy memories continued to dominate my days during the weeks and months that followed. Ethan tried to get me to go out more often, but I always came up with some excuse to avoid it. Twice, Lucille—the second time with more authority and sternness—advised me to socialize more and stop being such a homebody. “You have a husband who needs you at his side,” she said.
    A few times, perhaps hoping to get me jealous or something, she accompanied Ethan to a business social event and then raved about how flattered she was when strangers assumed she was his wife. Even Daddy began urging me more intently to socialize. “Enjoy your life more, Semantha,” he said. “Take advantage of your wonderful opportunities.”
    I was sure that it was mostly for my benefit when he and Lucille insisted that Ethan and I accompany them on some dinner dates. I made one excuse oranother to avoid it. After a while, they stopped pressuring me and tried a new tactic. They spent most of the time at dinner or anyplace else we were all together talking about how wonderful the event had been that I hadn’t attended. I sat quietly listening. Their conversations became solely three-way, and gradually it was as if I weren’t there or had become invisible.
    I knew Lucille was beginning to be more persistent in urging my father to get me back into therapy. However, unlike with most of the things she asked him to do, he held back. I did overhear him telling her, “If she doesn’t want to do it, Lucille, it won’t be of any value. It’s not like we can have her committed. This has to be voluntary. She has to believe she needs to do it; otherwise, it will be a waste of time and money.”
    Cassie was very pleased about that. Finally, there was something significant over which Daddy and Lucille disagreed. She attributed it to my becoming more and more like her. “You’ve got backbone now. You don’t let everyone take advantage of you, use you. You’re becoming more and more of a Heaven-stone.”
    Yes, I thought. I am becoming more like her. It’s true. I thought I could even see it in the faces of the Heaven-stone ancestors on the wall of portraits whenever I walked past them. Oddly enough, even though everyone was treating me as if I were as fragile as bone china, I felt stronger. I think Daddy saw it in my face as well. I detected something different in the way he looked at me.
    “He’s seeing me in you,” Cassie whispered. “That’s good. We’re winning.”
    Yes, I thought again, and then, maybe just out of some instinct that had been resurrected within me, I turned one day in the upstairs corridor and entered Cassie’s room. The room had never been touched or changed in any way. The maids had been told to dust it periodically, but nothing had been taken out of it or moved to the attic. It was as if everyone knew Cassie really was still there. Daddy wanted the room kept that way, and for some reason, this was one thing Lucille never challenged. It was easier simply to keep the door closed.
    Entering the room now brought back a flood of memories, very early ones from when we had been much closer as sisters. Often, when I was young, I would sit beside her or on the floor while she paraded about giving one of her Cassie lectures about school and other kids my age, but mostly she had preached about what was expected of us as Heaven-stones. I had been quite in awe of her back then, and even at that young age, I had sensed how much Daddy and other adults respected her. I couldn’t help but want to be like her in so many ways.
    I went to her closet and opened it to look at her clothing. Mother had dressed me so differently. My hair had always been longer, and I did much more with makeup. That was not to say that Cassie had been unattractive. She had many striking features, and boys who didn’t know anything about her had been drawn to her at first.