Home Front Girls

that I thought of getting rid of the baby but I didn’t know who to go to or who to ask for help, so I just said nothing and foolishly believed I could keep it a secret. Eventually Mother confronted me and I had to admit that I was pregnant. We had lost Father by then and she had taken his loss badly, so although I wanted to keep my baby I knew that I couldn’t leave Mother all alone. I never stepped out of the house again after that for months. And I didn’t tell your father about you either. It wouldn’t have been fair on him.
    ‘On the night that you were born, Mother paid someone to come to the house to deliver you. I never knew who it was, but you were such a beautiful baby and I realised then that I couldn’t bear to part with you. I told her so. And then a couple of days later I woke up one morning to find that you were missing from your crib. I begged Mother to tell me what she had done with you, but she refused to say. She just said that you were safe and that I must put it all behind me now. And then a few days later I read in the newspaper about a baby being abandoned on the steps of the orphanage and I guessed that it could only be you. So I went and applied for a job there. I knew that I could never bring you home, Mother would never have allowed that and it would have caused a terrible scandal if I had admitted that you were mine. But at least by working there I could see you and be near you every day.’
    Miss Timms leaned forward and said passionately, ‘Oh Dotty, I was so proud as I watched you grow up, and you’ll never know how many times I was tempted to tell you who I was. I knew how much you longed to know your true parentage and it tore me apart when you told me about your mummy who would come for you one day. But by then Mother was gravely ill with a heart condition and I knew that the shock would kill her, and much as I hated her I couldn’t bear to have her death on my conscience. And then she died and I thought, At last I can tell her! I almost did, but by then I was too afraid of how you would react. I feared that you would hate me and never see me again. Somehow your father found out that I’d given birth to you shortly after Mother took you away. I often wonder if it was she who told him when she knew that it was too late for him to do anything about it. That’s just the sort of malicious thing Mother would have done. He was utterly distraught to know that he had a daughter somewhere whom he would never know. But I sent him away. There was nothing either of us could do without hurting his family, and they didn’t deserve that. But one day when the time is right I will tell you who your father is, Dotty. I think this is more than enough of a shock for you to take in. I’m so sorry, my dear. So very, very sorry.’
    As if in a trance, Dotty stared into space as visions flashed in front of her eyes. Miss Timms working late, so that she could read her a bedtime story. Miss Timms picking her up and kissing her better when she tripped and fell. The many little treats the woman would sneak into the orphanage for her. It all made sense now and surprisingly, rather than be angry she felt as if a lead weight had been lifted from her heart. For the first time in her life she could hold her head up and know who she belonged to. It was a curious, wonderful feeling.
    ‘I think I understand,’ she told the woman softly. ‘And I appreciate you telling me now. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.’
    ‘Do you really mean that?’ the woman asked incredulously as a look of pure joy spread across her thin face.
    ‘Yes, I do,’ Dotty answered sincerely. ‘And when we get out of here we’ll shout it to the world and I’ll be proud to tell them that you’re my mum. And then we’ll have the rest of our lives to make up for what we’ve missed.’
    ‘Oh, darling. You’ll never know what that means to me,’ the woman sighed, but just then there was another deafening explosion and they heard the windows in the house above them implode as the cellar walls juddered with the force.
    Simultaneously they both looked towards the ceiling and Miss Timms threw herself over Dotty as another explosion sounded, but they had no time to say any more before the roof of the cellar collapsed in on them.

Chapter Twenty-Seven
     
    The raid lasted all night and the people of Coventry faced an inexorable assault of terror as wave after wave of bombers flew over, dropping their deadly cargoes on the