Honored Vow

ask.”
    “And if he doesn’t, then I basically have to tell Samantha anyway,
    right?”
    “Yeah, probably, because you’ll have to move—he’ll drive you from
    his territory.”
    “But I live here, I work here.”
    “That’s no one’s fault but yours. You should have never put yourself
    in this position.”
    “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
    “Oh, fuck you,” I groused at him. “I told you from day one that you
    should contact the semel of Los Angeles and speak to him. Before you
    even moved here, I wanted to come see him, just like I did the semel of
    Las Vegas, and Crane’s not even shacking up with a human, so all he
    needed was permission to be in the other semel’s territory, not special
    status.”
    “I fucked this up.”
    “Yeah, ya did.”
    “So how do I get to talk to the semel?”
    “You start by talking to the maahes, but you really need to know if
    this is what you want, Russ.”
    “I know I—”

    52

    Mary Calmes

    “Because you’re making a promise to the semel of the tribe that has
    granted you the status of duat that you will no longer act as a panther,” I
    told him. “It’s a big deal; breach of terms is punishable by death.”
    “Jesus,” he groaned.
    “Hello.”
    I turned my head, and there was another man there, just as beat-up as
    Russ. “You must be Tony.”
    “And who are you?”
    He was cocky and I didn’t like him, and Delphine was right; I was
    not myself. I breathed out to try and relax, but instead my pheromones
    washed over him in a drowning wave.
    “Ohmygod,” he moaned, falling to the floor, his body bent in half as
    he began his shift.
    “Jin!” Delphine cried out, and I closed my eyes, concentrating.
    But I didn’t have any control to stop, calm, or gather myself.
    Crane.
    Russ.
    I was so glad Russ wasn’t hurt, and even though I didn’t understand
    his reasoning, I wanted him to have the choice of what to do, not have
    Logan or Miguel Garza decide. But more than anything, I wanted to see
    my best friend. I needed to see Crane.
    I wanted to see Crane.
    “Jin!”
    I looked up at Delphine, saw the pain in her eyes as she went to her
    knees.
    “Jin.” Russ gagged before he dropped to the floor at my feet.
    His loss of control fed my desire to punish those who had taken him.
    At once I understood the true size of my ego. What in God’s name made
    me think that I could travel by myself with just Delphine in the state I was
    in? Why hadn’t I called Logan or Mikhail? Why hadn’t I reached out to
    Justin Cho, Logan’s friend and the semel of San Francisco, who probably
    knew the semel of Los Angeles well? And why, ever, would I go
    anywhere without an escort? I was the mate of a semel; I didn’t leave
    home without bodyguards. No mate of a tribe leader did that; it was
    considered unsafe, and you were inviting trouble. Why did I think I could
    or should simply because I was a man?

    Honored Vow

    53

    The truth was that I was furious at Logan and I had used his
    brother’s kidnapping as an excuse to leave. I was worried about Russ, but
    I also knew that they could not hurt him, not really, without first speaking
    to Logan. They could rough him up, as they had done, but that was all.
    And I knew that and I had gotten on a plane anyway. It was selfish and
    stupid because I had not only put myself in jeopardy but Delphine as well.
    “Reah!”
    I could be killed. Delphine and Russ could be killed, and no one
    would ever know because no one knew where any of us were. I was
    counting on archaic customs and observed ritual to keep us safe, and that
    was insane. I should have been home, waiting for word on Crane, waiting
    for word on Russ, not acting on impulse. I was the mate of a semel; I
    needed to comport myself in that manner. What had I been thinking?
    “Reah!”
    The scream tore me from my thoughts. When I turned to look for the
    man who had let loose the blood-curdling sound, I realized that Blake
    Dempsey and I were the sole humans in the room. Everyone else—
    Delphine, Russ, Tony, Liza, and all the rest of the men, including Dennis
    Jennings, the manu—were cats. I was surrounded by panthers.
    I took a breath and everyone in the room, including the maahes,
    collapsed. A wave of guilt washed over me as I looked at the cats
    sprawled on the floor, panting, some throwing up, others lying curled in
    balls, shivering with the aftershocks of my power surging through them. I
    had no idea what apology I could make, what excuse