Hooked

Rich snagged a can of soda and looked at Griff. “So, do we like him?” he asked.
    “Hell, yeah. He’s a big deal at Damon’s.” Griff held up a hand for a gleeful high five. “We just got us a ticket to sporting man’s heaven!”
    * * *
    The glow of her family’s support lasted just long enough for Steph to drive home and take Mickey out for a Sunday walk. The sun was high and warm, and the earthy scents of moist ground and new grass lured the dog into every available corner. She let him explore while thinking about what her sisters had said, and feeling a little guilty that she’d misrepresented Finn to them—at least partly. If she had revealed that he’d been volunteering at a breast cancer retreat, they’d have thought she was crazy for not telling him and throwing herself into his saintly arms.
    They loved her dearly and were doing their best to help her adjust to her new reality, but they weren’t used to seeing their big sister in anything but a take-charge sort of role. She couldn’t help feeling that they were trying to get her back into their comfort zone as much as hers. They just couldn’t understand how vulnerable breast cancer made a woman feel. A part of her femininity had been cut away. A part of what she had always hoped to give the man she loved was damaged. And while it was true that she was still the same person, she was also different now, and always would be.
    Cancer was more than just a passing phase, it was a recurring threat that would be present in her life for years to come. Every time she felt a twinge, small lump or discomfort she would wonder if the disease had returned. Was it fair of her to ask someone, anyone, to share that uncertainty with her? Finn had already experienced how bad it could get. What if what happened to his sister happened to Steph? What if they got back together and the worst happened? How could she ask him to risk going through all that again?
    She imagined his possible reactions as he took the news…sadness, panic, eagerness to escape, guilt, pity…even heroic understanding and selfless concern…none of which boded well for a real relationship between them. The thought rattled her to the core. She had done million-dollar deals with a confident nod, but the thought of facing Finn to reveal her most intimate pain made her want to hide. She was scared to tell him. Scared he would turn his back and walk away as he had last night, only this time for good.
    Her sisters were right. It wouldn’t be easy, but she needed to tell him about her cancer. The sooner the better. She couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t stop this before they both got in too deep. She squared her shoulders.
    She would tell him. If she ever saw him again.
    The phone was ringing when she entered the front door, and she rushed to unfasten Mickey’s leash and answer it.
    “Steph?” Finn’s voice stirred an unholy mixture of pleasure and relief in her. “Hey—I thought I was going to miss you.”
    “I was out walking Mickey. I just came in.” She knew she’d sound just as breathless answering any phone call from him.
    “We’ve got a major event going on here.” There was crowd noise in the background and something that sounded like falling water. He must be at Damon’s. “And I thought to myself, I bet Stephanie Steele would probably kill to get a look at our spring and summer collection of waders. We carry only the top designers, you know. Very exclusive. If you play your cards right, I might even hook you up with a sales rep. Could be the mother lode for Silk and Steele . What do you say? Wanna come?”
    “Are you asking me out? You really know how to turn a girl’s head, Hartley.”
    “It’s a gift.” He chuckled. “I’ll pick you up in thirty minutes. Wear something wettable.”
    And he was gone.
    “Pretty damned sure of himself. Wettable? Is that even a word?”
    But on the way up the stairs she started to grin, and her heart was skipping as she changed into some chinos, a camisole and a camp shirt. She put on a little makeup and surveyed the results in the bathroom mirror, stifling the urge to scrutinize her chest for signs of asymmetry.
    “Eat your heart out, L.L. Bean.”
    When she answered the door minutes later, Finn filled the opening, invading her senses and crowding some of the air from her lungs. His hair was windblown, his khakis were a little wrinkled, and the green polo stretched across his broad shoulders had water spots drying on it.