Human Remains

when they had no one else to do it. And where were you when they needed your help? You never even knew they existed, did you? Because you’re here to force people to perform and behave and react in a certain way. Even, it seems, when no law has been broken at all.’
    They were staring at me. I took a drink from the plastic cup of water on the table in front of me.
    ‘Finished?’ said Lewis.
    I didn’t answer. The anger was still there.
    ‘This is an interview, Colin. While we appreciate your contribution, it would be very helpful if you could stick to the questions we’re asking. Do you think you could do that?’
    ‘If I must.’
    Lewis took a deep breath in, leaned forward slightly across the table towards me.
    ‘How do you do it?’
    I stared at him.
    ‘Come on, Colin, you’ve developed what must be a genius technique for getting people to kill themselves. How do you do it?’
    I raised my chin in defiance. ‘It has taken me a number of years of detailed study, Detective Constable Lewis. Explaining it would take longer than either of us has.’
    ‘Maybe you could give us a summary,’ he said.
    ‘You wouldn’t understand.’
    ‘Indulge me.’
    I breathed in, a long, deep breath through my nose, wondering how to start, wondering if I could phrase it in words the plod could understand.
    ‘They all wanted to end their lives. You must understand that: if they weren’t ready for death, whatever my “technique”, as you call it, it would not have worked.’
    ‘So you’re not responsible for their deaths?’
    ‘Absolutely not. They took their own lives, every one of them.’
    ‘But you… helped them?’
    ‘I helped them with their resolve. My “technique” is something I tailor to meet individual needs. Some of them were afraid of pain, so my discussions with them concentrated on pain relief, or the blocking-out of those feelings, and also on the removal of fear. Because, as I’m sure you are aware, fear makes pain more acute. If we have no fear, pain is easier to bear. So I helped each of them with their specific requirements.’
    ‘Doesn’t hunger override all of this?’ Topping said abruptly. ‘I mean, surely the human body needs food and water…’
    ‘Voluntary Refusal of Food and Fluid is surprisingly common, you know,’ I said. ‘I suggest you research it on the internet. It’s also called Voluntary Death by Dehydration, or VDD. Or I’ve seen it referred to as Terminal Dehydration. Once you pass a certain point, the body starts to shut down, and from then on it’s quite a simple matter. It doesn’t take long, and if you’ve dealt with fear, and the limited amount of pain, it’s quite a pleasant way to die. Depending on how fit you are, and whether there is any underlying medical condition, five to seven days is the average length of time, for most of which the subject is asleep, resting. It’s not at all violent; in fact it’s very peaceful. You just slip away in your sleep.’
    They were both staring at me.
    ‘If any of them had changed their minds about dying, they could have got themselves a drink of water. They were in their own homes. Some of them still had food in the fridge, in the cupboards. They could have changed their minds at any point. But they had chosen their path. All I did was make it easier for them to continue.’
    ‘Were you there when they all died?’
    ‘No. It was a private moment for them. Usually once they lost consciousness I left them alone.’
    ‘But you went back?’
    ‘I went back to make sure they had achieved their goals.’
    They looked at each other. I waited for them to ask if I went back again after that, because if they had asked that question I would probably have responded with an untruth. But, fortunately for me and my dedication to the truth, the notion of someone voluntarily spending time with decomposing human flesh was one that was beyond their comprehension.
    ‘Let’s go back to the phones you used, Colin. You have admitted that you used different SIM cards for each of the – er – people you met.’
    ‘I suppose so.’
    ‘You suppose so?’
    ‘Alright, then, yes.’
    ‘Why did you do that?’
    ‘It was a way of keeping track of everyone I’d met.’
    ‘Seems a complicated way to go about it. Why didn’t you just save their numbers in the contact list on your phone?’
    ‘I don’t keep contacts in my phone. You may have noticed.’
    ‘Why’s that?’
    ‘I just prefer to keep things separate, that’s