I Should Die

horror and despair. My heart aches. Will they ever be able to look at me the same as they did before? I change the subject. “How does it feel to be Vincent’s second?”
    “Like I was born for it. Like I’ve been waiting for this role for the last fifty years.” She smiles. “It’s time for you to get suited up. I’ll wait for you in the foyer.” She stands and turns to go.
    “Charlotte?”
    “Yes.”
    “Please don’t leave.”
    She looks at me curiously, and then comes over to put her arms around me. “This is scary, isn’t it?” she asks.
    “Yep.”
    She gives me a squeeze and then walks over to the bed and picks up a pair of leather pants. I shuffle out of my jeans and take them from her.
    “Violette’s timing really sucks,” she says. “You shouldn’t have to jump right in like this before you even have time to test yourself. But we’re going into it together. You, me, Ambrose, Vincent, and the rest of our kindred. We never work alone. You will always be one part of a whole. Together we can win this fight—I am sure of it.”
    Charlotte’s courage is contagious. As I pull on layers of protective clothing, I begin to feel emboldened, and a sense of purpose sparks my will. I am bardia. Whether or not I feel capable, I was made for this.

FORTY-FOUR
    IT IS ONE A.M. WHEN WE LEAVE. I AM GLAD IT IS late. My grandparents will have no idea I’m gone. Hopefully we’ll be back before they wake up and they won’t have the time to worry.
    The closest small grouping of lights is just north of us, where I see three clear red beams shoot into the night sky. We cross the Carrousel Bridge and walk through the Louvre’s courtyard, passing the sparkling crystal pyramid, and back out through the monumental archway.
    Vincent walks beside me, checking from time to time to make sure the others are keeping up. We are followed by five groups of highly armed revenants, and heading toward three lone numa. So why is my heart thumping so hard?
    Finally we turn down a small side street and I nod toward a large open gate halfway down on the right. “The lights come from inside there,” I say.
    “I know that passageway,” says Charlotte. “It’s covered with a glass roof and lined with shops on either side. The shops will all be closed, but there are apartments above them on the second floor.”
    “Okay,” says Vincent, and phones the group behind us. “Arthur. Our targets are inside Passage du Grand Cerf. Bring your group to the rue St. Denis side and secure that exit. Have the other groups guard the street. And call the ambulance to meet us here. We will have three corpses to pick up.”
    “We’re just going to trap them and kill them?” I ask Vincent as we approach the arched gateway.
    “Kate. They’re numa. They are murderers. And if we don’t kill them, they will kill us.”
    I nod, but I still feel strange about it.
    All of the shopfronts are dark, but a few lights are on in the second-floor windows. As we approach, one of them flickers off and footsteps can be heard coming down the stairs. A door in the middle of the passageway opens, and two men step out. Their shoes click hollowly against the black-and-white tiles.
    “Stay here.” Vincent waves me back as he and the others stride quickly forward. The light catches the men’s faces: It is Nicolas and Louis. Violette’s second and her favorite in the same place at once! I think. We have stumbled into something important.
    Seeing the young numa, I can’t help but follow Vincent and the others. Once I get within a few yards of them the red beacons extinguish, like they did when the numa got close to me on the riverbank, leaving only the misty red auras. I don’t see golden beams shooting up from the bardia’s auras , I realize. There’s only one reason a Champion would have this gift: to hunt numa.
    I see the flickering gold inside Louis’s aura, and it seems to me like a tiny bit of hope has materialized as light and is struggling to free itself from the cold crimson glare. Something tugs at my memory, and I try to think where I have seen this before. And then it comes to me: the guérisseurs’ archives. The painting of the numa with the gold in his aura—the one crossing the stream and being received by bardia. That scene is about redemption , I realize suddenly. I think back to how Louis had seemed sympathetic to me on the boat, and had helped loosen my bonds. He actually helped me escape, which, even considering my persuasiveness