I'll Be Here

A kid that can’t be more than fifteen is losing his guts over by a metal trashcan near the dunes.
    For a few minutes we stand at the edge of things, pensively perched on the sand watching the people swirl with the smoke from the bonfire.  I can feel Alex close to me as if he is in my blood, rushing through my veins on the pathway to my heart.  And when his fingertips brush against the backside of my hand, it sends a jolt of electricity through my entire body.   
     The fire throws off crackling sparks that fizzle in the darkness and float down around the shadowed bodies like fairy dust.  I close my eyes and I’m thinking of the time Alex and I went with our moms to that restaurant out west of town where we ordered corn fritters and freshly squeezed lemonades served in chilled mason jars.  That was in the summer.  I remember that Alex grabbed my hand and led me out on the dock where a crusty old fisherman was gutting his catch.  Their silver-blue bodies glistened under the sun and a few fish still jumped and writhed, their mouths forming elongated Oh’s.  And then I’m thinking of The Price is Right —and how weird is that?  Why am I thinking of that show?  And—
    “Faber!”  This is some guy shouting. 
    He materializes from behind a redhead in a sparkly green top.  I recognize him as someone who goes to Bayview.  His gait and his beefy shoulders and crew cut scream “football jock.”  He’s got a huge smile on his face.  He and Alex do a quasi-handshake, slap thing. 
    Football guy is named Jonathan and he’s a senior at Bayview this year.  Apparently Jonathan goes out with the green-sequined redhead and he’s also responsible for acquiring the keg so “beer is free game” for “Faber and anyone who’s with him.”  He gives me a conspiratorial wink and a cocked smile.
    I smile back. 
    It remains unclear if Jonathan and Alex are actual friends or if Jonathan is just a bit drunk and happy to see someone that hails from Bayview even if he did graduate two years ago.  Jonathan’s hooting and guffawing and when he comes close to my face I find out that his breath is sweet and sticky. 
    The redhead appears over his shoulder with a darker haired friend and Jonathan launches into the introductory spiel and now I know Alicia and Lauren.  Lauren, who I learn graduated last year, asks Alex about school and it’s clear that she knows something about him.  As I stand there and watch him interact with these people I realize that I never think of Alex as being friends with such normal people.  When we walk away a few minutes later I say something like this.
    Alex laughs.  My stomach flips over at the sound. 
    “What’s normal?”  He asks.
    “I don’t know exactly but you’re not it.”
    His expression is amused.  “I’m not?”  He shakes his head.  “It must be the facial piercing and the strange music.  Is it too much?”
    I laugh.  “No.  I actually like the eyebrow ring.”  His lips form a smirk as I reach up to brush his brow with the very tips of my fingers.  “When did you get it?”
    He looks slightly apologetic and I don’t understand why.  “Last summer when I was in Atlanta.  Between us, I’d had too many beers and I barely remember it.”
    “Well, it’s hot.”  My eyes widen when I register that I said out loud the words that were in my head.  I bite down hard on my lip and wonder if burying myself in the sand is out of the question.  But then Alex gets this pleased look on his face and I think that if I could bottle it and hold onto it forever, I would. 
    He leans down so that he’s close to my ear and his breath pushes down my neck in threads that caress my skin.  “And you don’t even know about the tattoos…”
    My bottom jaw falls and Alex laughs with his head back and his face parallel to the stars.  Then he grabs the sleeve of my borrowed jacket and pulls me far enough away from the fire so that the smoke doesn’t dry out our eyes but still close enough that our faces are lit by the tangerine flames.  I can’t help but think that if he moved his hand just a bit we would be touching skin to skin.
    Alex settles on one of the pieces of driftwood that has been positioned like a bench.  I sit down to his left, careful to be close to him but not too close.  A knotty lump of wood cuts into my butt cheek and I have to shift twice to get comfortable.
    I’ve always liked watching people and Alex has found a perfect spot for one of