I'll Be Here

if they are two inflated black balls bobbing on a watery surface.  “I’m done running.”
    I smile.  “Me too.” 
    Alex reaches between us for my left hand and places it on his naked chest just over his heart.  His voice is softer now.  “Do you feel how fast my heart is beating?”
    This time my nod is barely perceptible.  Alex’s heart is insistent under my hand like a racehorse pounding it’s hooves on the red earth impatient to be released from the paddock. 
    Alex sucks in another long, steeling breath, flexing the muscles of his jaw.  I shiver. 
    “I love you,” he says quickly, his blue eyes spilling light over me all at once.
    There is a silence.  A breath passes.  Then five.  Then twelve. 
    I am taking too long to answer and his beautiful face dims.  He looks down at the octagonal pattern etched into the pavement. 
    “I’m sorry.  That was too much too fast.  You don’t have to say it back.  Honestly.  I don’t know what I was thinking laying that on you so soon.  I’ve just been thinking it for so long,” he says, his teeth sinking into the words.
    Now it is my turn.  I pick up his hand and place it over my chest. 
    “Do you feel how fast my heart is beating?”  I ask.
    Alex looks up.  His nod is wary.
    “I love you too,” I say.
    Now we really are kissing and maybe the sun blows up and maybe the universe is reborn.  And maybe we actually do take off into the air this time. 
    All I feel is Alex all above me, below me—everywhere.  His fingers grip me tighter, grazing half-forgotten places, edging up the pale skin on the inside of my arms and winding into my hair.  I can barely breathe but I think that his lips might be better than oxygen at the moment.
    Alex’s mouth stills against the scorched skin of my neck and he mumbles in a funny voice that we should head back to his dorm so that he can put his shirt on.  I pull his face back to mine and tell him that if he thinks I’m going to let him put more clothes on he’s out of his mind. 
    He laughs and kisses me again.
    The sky is everywhere—open and wide all around us. 
    It’s infinite.
    Anything can happen.
    And I’ll be here.
     
     
     
     
                 
     
     
               
     
     
               
     
     
     

 
     
     
    ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
     
     
    I always wonder if anyone but me takes the time to read this part.  You know, the part where the author gushes about how many people have helped him or her get to this point and blah, blah, blah.  Well, it’s sometimes my favorite part of a book and I always dreamed that one day I’d get to write an acknowledgements page that was all my own.
     
    I would like to thank:
     
    My beta readers.  Also known as “friends.”  Especially Sarah—my very first reader, who excels so completely at being human that I wasn’t afraid to put myself and my words in her hands.  And my Aunt Susan and my book buddy Stephanie, who devours cheesy lit almost as fast as me.
     
    My husband, Dave, who amazes me each and every day with his incredibly high threshold for crazy.  And who gave me two perfectly imperfect girls that are my favorite part about the world. 
     
    My mom and my dad.  I could say the million and four ways that you are brilliant and supportive, but the truth is that no words are adequate.  I will never be able to repay you for what you’ve done for me—for letting me stay home from school to finish reading that book, for raising me in paradise, for always stopping the car to help people (even when we were running late), and for constantly thinking that I am better than I am.  It gives me something to live up to.   
     
    Jackie and Tara.  I owe you for thousands of wonderful days.  For grown men dressed up like chickens and cookie hunts in New York complete with a miniscule telescope and hot air balloon wishes and manatee kisses and basically for being a part of everything good in my life.  I don’t know who I would be without you both and I never, ever want to find out.  I may not believe in everything but I believe in us.
     
    You, dear reader.  For searching for something to interest you, something to make you smile, and for choosing this book.  Thank you!
     
    And my mom.  Again.  And again.  To infinity and