In Bed With Lord Byron

his henchmen announced, ‘this is Leonardo da Vonci . . .’
    ‘Vinci,’ Leonardo hissed helpfully.
    ‘. . . da Vinci, and he is here to present his prospectus to you in the hope of acquiring your patronage.’
    The court fell silent. Men craned their necks to stare and I overheard several remarks noting Leonardo’s beauty. I bit back a smile, inwardly beaming with pride. The girl who had been
serving the Duke stared at Leo with wide eyes. The Duke clicked his fingers and she quickly lowered her gaze.
    ‘Well, da Vinci,’ said Duke Ludovico, ‘artists stream into my court every week asking for commissions. I hear that you impressed the House of the Medici. But our standards are
much higher. Tell us what you have to offer.’
    I opened the satchel and drew out the prospectus. Leonardo began to read. He spoke quickly, his face flushed, and in his excitement he began to divert from his text.
    ‘. . . I have also designed an architronito, which is a steam-powered cannon made from copper . . .
    ‘. . . We could improve sanitation if we were to build this city on two levels, one for pedestrians, another for the canals, for those dealing in trade and animals, and we
must
build spiral staircases throughout, for people do use the dark corners of square staircases as urinals, which is most unhygienic . . .
    ‘. . . I have an idea for a flying machine, a screwed instrument which will be covered in linen and climb upwards . . .’
    I glanced around the court. Several people were whispering and smirking. I looked at the Duke, whose expression had changed from admiring to incredulous.
    I tried to nudge Leonardo to indicate that it might be a good time to shut up, but he was totally carried away. His genius had burst into flames and there was no putting it out.
    ‘And an ornithopter, which, using the principles of birds’ flight . . .’
    ‘Yes,’ the Duke raised a plump hand, ‘but—’
    ‘. . . will enable any man to fly as a bird does.’
    ‘Let the Duke speak!’ one his advisers interrupted, and Leonardo broke off. I could see that he was shaking slightly.
    ‘You say that you can build a flying machine?’ the Duke sneered. ‘What, so that we can fly like birds in the sky!’ He flapped his arms sarcastically and the court
tittered.
    ‘I can prove it. Simply make a wing from paper, mounted on a structure of cane and net twenty
braccia
long—’ Leonardo began.
    ‘Leonardo, the only creatures who can fly are the angels. The divine. Those created by God. Do you compare yourself to God?’
    Oh shit, I thought. Leonardo wasn’t exactly a big fan of the Christian Church. I saw a glint in the Duke’s eyes and thought: He knows. He’s just baiting him. I turned to Leo,
silently pleading with him to be silent, but he shook back his long hair defiantly and said, ‘If I can make men fly, and only God can make them fly, then I suppose all that we can conclude is
that I am God.’
    The silence blazed.
    ‘Only the mad believe they are God. I fear that you do not belong in court but an asylum,’ said the Duke curtly. ‘You are dismissed.’ He waved his hand languidly.
    ‘What?’ Leonardo turned pale. ‘But . . . but . . .’
    Which means I’m fired, I realised, my heart sinking. Leonardo will not be able to afford to keep me. Which means I have to do something. Quick! I gazed at the Duke, who had turned back to
his serving girl, and burst out passionately: ‘Duke Ludovico, turning down Leonardo will be the greatest mistake you’ll ever make! This is a man who, in five hundred years’ time,
will still be revered as one of the greatest artists who ever lived. Do you want to be remembered in the history books as the man who sacked him?’
    Silence. Everyone in the room turned to stare at me. Leonardo looked painfully amused, as though he half wanted to hug me for my bravery and half wanted to slap me for my craziness.
    It had been crazy. I was still trembling with anger and nerves. Oh God, why hadn’t I thought before I spoke?
    ‘You – you impudent boy! What do you know of Leonardo’s future – you’re just a snivelling little apprentice! You think that you can predict the future? In five
hundred years’ time, people will remember me – Duke Ludovico Sforza – as a great ruler, a most compassionate man, a man of wisdom and intellect and imagination.’
    As he spoke, four of his guards started to walk towards me. Were they going to throw me out on to the street? Or worse, would I be put