In the After

the beginning of our research, one that we could use on our own soldiers so they wouldn’t become infected. It was never effective, and now the original strain has mutated. If someone is bitten by a Florae, they’re irrevocably changed.”
    “Then what? Something to slay them all?” I couldn’t stop thinking of them as mindless killers, but I’d also begun to think of them as people. They were all human, once.
    “Unfortunately they are still too similar to humans. Anything I could develop to kill them would kill us as well. What I’m working on is a vaccine,” my mother explained.
    “How do you test something like that?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer.
    My mother crossed her arms, pinched her lips together. I wanted to cry then.
    “You used those people the Guardians caught, didn’t you? Amber’s brother, his gang?”
    “I did what was necessary. I will always do what is necessary.”
    “Even if it means killing innocent people?”
    “I would sacrifice the few to save the many, yes.”
    I paused, afraid to ask the next question. “Does Rice know all this?” I whispered.
    My mother looked down, then up at me. “He knows about the infection, what the Floraes really are.”
    I sucked in a breath. I felt betrayed. Sickened, I could no longer stand to be in the same room with her. I made a break for the door.
    “Amy, wait! Let me walk you out of here. If you’re caught . . .”
    I ran out the door and down the hall. When I finally reached the elevator, I was shaking so badly I could barely hold the key card.
    At the first floor, the elevator doors opened and I was staring straight into the face of Dr. Reynolds. His eyes widened when he recognized me, taking in the lab coat, my trembling hands.
    “Hello, Amy. What are you doing here without an escort?”
    I couldn’t even look at him. “My mother walked me to the elevator and sent me up. It’s my birthday.”
    “I know. I also hear you passed your Guardian test. Congratulations.”
    No thanks to you . I pushed past him, desperate to reach the outside.
    I heard him call after me: “Good-bye, Amy. I’ll see you later.” From his mouth it sounded like a threat.
    • • •
    When my mother comes to visit me, I pretend to be drugged. I don’t look at her when she sits next to me or puts her hand on my shoulder .
    “I’ve asked Dr. Reynolds to give you another psyche-eval. He’s going to, as a special favor to me,” she tells me .
    I look at her sharply and I can see she is surprised. I try to dull my face, act uninterested. “That’s nice, Mom.” I turn back to the television .
    “I just want you to know, Amy, that all the things I did . . . I have to make up for them. I know what I’m responsible for, and I can never forget it.” There are tears streaming down her face now .
    I stare straight ahead until she gets up to leave, kissing me on the top of my head .
    • • •
    I wasn’t back in my mother’s apartment for more than a few minutes before there was a knock at the door. When I didn’t answer, Rice came in anyway, looking jubilant. He thought we were going to have the mother of all parties tonight, to celebrate my birthday and my becoming a Guardian.
    He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw my tearstained face. “What happened?”
    “I found out my mother is responsible for the apocalypse,” I whispered.
    “What . . .?” His jaw dropped.
    “I know the secret . . . about the Floraes. I know what they are.” I reached into my pocket and fished out his key card, holding it up. He took it back solemnly and sat next to me on the couch.
    “I killed Vivian,” I told him, unable to meet his gaze.
    “No you didn’t. Even if you killed a Florae that used to be Vivian . . . it wasn’t her. Vivian is gone.” He reached out to me but I shrank away. “Have you told anyone?” he asked.
    “Not yet, but people deserve to know the truth.”
    “Amy, come on. Let’s talk about this. . . . I think you just need to cool off. There are a lot of things you think you may know, but really you have no idea.”
    “Like what, Rice? What else could I possibly not know?” I was close to sobbing again.
    He put his hand on my back. “I . . . ,” he began just as Baby burst through the door.
    Happy birthday, Amy! she signed, running over to us. Did you pass your test today? Are we having a double party tonight? She turned to Rice. Hi, Rice. Do you want to hear about school today? It was fan. We were put