In the After

helped me to my feet as the sun glinted off something on the gory ground, the same sparkle I saw before, caught in the terror of the fight. I knelt next to the dead creature, studying its slashed neck.
    My blood ran cold at what I saw in front of me. I reached down and picked up a small gold cross on a gold chain.
    Vivian’s necklace.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
    I’ve been taking the pills that Gareth gave me for two weeks. All the gaps have been filled in, all the fog has cleared. I remember everything now. It came to me in bits and pieces, returning slowly, painfully real. Sickening. Why did it take so long?
    Because I didn’t want to remember .
    A part of me was happy to sleep all day, to become nothing .
    I look at the pills in the cup the nurse hands me. It would be so simple. I could just take them and stop taking the antidote. I could forget again. But I won’t .
    If I did, I would be no better than them .
    I had wanted the truth so badly. I thought it would be easier to face the world as it was, Florae infested, if I just knew where They came from. What They were .
    I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Gareth once told me that ignorance was bliss and I’d responded that ignorance was dangerous. We were both right. But which was better?
    If I’d chosen to remain ignorant, would I be happier? If I’d chosen to leave it alone, not to pry, would I still have my family, still have Baby? I knew that was not an option. I would never have left it alone. I would never have given up .
    I made my choice and there is no going back .
    • • •
    “Where is my mother?” I asked Rice. I caught him just as he was leaving a restricted area.
    “Amy, I thought you had your training test today. What happened? How did it go?” He regarded me, bewildered. I’d showered and changed out of my synth-suit, but I know I still had a wild look in my eyes.
    “I passed,” I told him. “I’m a Guardian now.”
    “That’s great! I knew you would.” He grinned and hugged me, and I almost lost my resolve and melted into his arms. But I pulled back quickly.
    “Where is my mother?” I asked again.
    “Working.” His smile faded. “Why? What’s wrong?”
    “Take me to her.”
    “I—I can’t. She’s in a restricted area.”
    I willed myself to appear calm. “I just want to tell her that I’m a Guardian now.”
    “She’ll be really proud.” Rice nodded. “But you know I can’t let you inside.”
    With a flash of insight I decided to change tactics. I grabbed him in a bear hug. “I’m just so happy, Rice. I’ve wanted this for so long. . . .”
    “Oh . . . I know, Amy. I think things are really going to work out for you now.” When I let go, he looked flushed but relieved.
    “You’re coming to my birthday party later, aren’t you?” I asked. “Baby will be happy to see you.”
    “Of course. We have even more to celebrate now.”
    I nodded and walked away, pretending I was heading for home, but then I ducked around the building and waited for Rice to leave. I felt bad deceiving him, but I had no choice. After he was gone, I headed back to the black door, armed with the key card I’d stolen from his pocket.
    I didn’t remember exactly how to get to my mother’s office, but I opened the door nearest the elevator and ducked inside to gather my thoughts. It was a small, empty office, and I spotted a lab coat thrown over a chair. I grabbed the coat and put it on, figuring it would make me less conspicuous. I heard voices in the hall and I peeked out the door. Lab assistants. I followed them at a safe distance.
    Eventually they led me to the hall where one side was lined with doors, the other with glass. The hall with the cells, each holding a Florae. The creatures shuffled slowly, circling their confined spaces. I kept going down the hall. At the last black door I turned the knob and entered my mother’s office.
    She was at her desk and looked up, startled. “What . . . Amy ?” Her hands froze above her keyboard. “How did you get down here?”
    I pulled out the necklace. It was still covered in the black-green blood of a Florae.
    She looked at the object and back at me, the shock and puzzlement clear on her face. “What is this? Where did you get it?”
    “I found it around the neck of a Florae.” I told her. “After I decapitated it to pass my final Guardian test.”
    “Amy! I knew you would. . . . Wait, you took the final test today? I thought—”
    “That’s Vivian’s