In the After

hands and made me look into her eyes. “It’s not how it seems. I know you’re exhausted now. If you want to get some sleep, I can explain everything tomorrow.”
    “Do, um, I have a stepfather?” I asked, feeling shaken to my core. My face burned.
    “No . . .” My mother shook her head. “There’s only me and Adam.” She put her hand on my cheek. “And now you.” She looked as if she was about to cry again.
    I didn’t want to see her sad. “Can I meet him?” I asked, the bitterness gone from my voice.
    At that my mother’s face softened. Her smile, still so beautiful. “Of course,” she told me. “He’ll be back from school at five.”
    I was quiet for a while, thinking about all I’d learned. “Mom, do you miss him?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Her head snapped up. She knew who I meant.
    “I miss your father every day,” she said quietly.
    My eyes stung. I desperately wanted my father to be remembered.
    “But no matter how much it hurt me to lose your father, it was only a tiny fraction of the pain I felt when I thought you were gone.”
    The tears rolled down my cheeks then. I leaned into my mother, hugged her tightly. She kissed the top of my head and wiped my face with her hand before wrapping her arms around me again.
    “If you want to get some sleep,” she said, “I’ll stay here while you and Baby rest.”
    “I think sleep would be good. We’ve had to take in a lot today,” I said, which was the understatement of the century. I put my face in my hands and massaged my temples. In one day everything I knew about the After had changed. I didn’t think I could handle much more.
    • • •
    When Dr. Thorpe returns again a few minutes later, she is trailed by a couple of large men wearing all white. I stay still, my eyes open but unfocused .
    The orderlies approach my bedside, where I continue to lie motionless. As soon as they are close enough, I jump up, hitting the nearest one in the nose with the palm of my hand. Blood squirts all over my clothes and splatters the bed .
    Stunned, the second orderly doesn’t have time to react. I crouch low and sweep his legs out from under him. My muscles seem to know what to do before I can think it. And suddenly I flash back to a gym—I’m training with Kay, a Guardian. She flickers into my mind, her expression sour, but her eyes full of kindness. In a flash as quick as lightning, her face is gone, leaving a blank void where the memory had been .
    All this takes place in seconds, and the orderly I’ve tripped is still falling sideways. His head makes a loud knocking sound as it bounces against the floor. I spring forward and sprint to the door. I’m going to escape. I’ll find Baby and someone to help us, maybe the woman I recalled through my haze. What was her name again? Once I’m out of here, I’ll be able to think. My fingers are on the door handle when I feel a sharp pain in my neck. I look up to find Dr. Thorpe standing over me, flushed, a needle in her hand .
    I try to open the door and run anyway, but my arms and legs have turned to jelly. I fall back, into Dr. Thorpe’s arms. She lowers me to the floor and before I black out, I hear her say, “It’s okay, Amy. You will get better. I will make sure of it.”
    • • •
    I woke at midnight to find Baby already up and watching me. I rubbed my face; my hand came away wet.
    You were crying in your sleep , Baby told me.
    Why didn’t you wake me?
    I thought maybe you were happy. You cried when we found Mom today .
    I shivered slightly and shook my nightmare from my head. Why aren’t you asleep? I asked her.
    I can’t sleep. It’s too loud here .
    I listened to the noises of the building, the buzz of the lights, the settling of wood and metal. That was all normal. We had those gentle noises at home. I listened harder and noticed that there was more. Voices from far away, sounds like a television program. There were footsteps in the hall, laughing outside. The ticking of the clock on the wall. I tried to tell Baby what all the noises were, but she shook her head.
    There’s a humming underneath it all . She explained. It makes my head hurt .
    I wondered what it was she was hearing that I couldn’t. We have to get used to it here. It’s our new home , I told her. I was wide awake. Are you thirsty? I asked, rubbing my neck. She shook her head no, but I went to fetch myself a glass of water. My throat was raw from talking so much.
    I walked through the