In the After
promised I would help her.”
“You promised to protect her,” I say quietly. I focus on the memory, but it eludes me. Why does Baby need protection? I try hard to concentrate. “You told me something. . . .”
“Shhhh.” Rice motions with his eyes to the corner of the room and I follow his gaze to the camera mounted in the corner. Standing underneath it, an orderly watches us. I nod, understanding that I need to be careful .
I lick my lips and choose my words cautiously. “There was a medicine that I was given; it was very effective. It improved my condition.”
Rice turns his blue eyes on me again. “I’ll speak with Dr. Reynolds about your treatment options.” He puts his hand in mine and signs , Be patient and play nice.
I take a deep breath, trying not to react . I will, I promise him. He must have learned our secret signing from Baby. How much does he know?
“I just get confused sometimes. I have trouble remembering everything. There are huge gaps in my memories. I don’t even know how long I’ve been in here.”
“Nearly two months.”
I stare at the floor warily. How long will they keep me here? More drugs? I ask, but he doesn’t understand, so I try again . Send Kay with good things?
Hard to get lots. He squeezes my hand . Help soon. Be strong.
I nod with a frown. I’m weak and tired. I don’t know if I can last much longer. “I remembered,” I tell him sadly. “About Vivian. And everything else.”
“I’m sorry, Amy.” He continues to hold my hand as I cry softly. “Just trust Dr. Reynolds. He only wants to help you.” He leans in and hugs me. I breathe in deeply, remembering his warm, soapy smell—comforting. “Take your medicine and let Dr. Thorpe know if your depression worsens. They can prescribe you something for it.”
I know he’s only saying it for the cameras and whoever else may be watching. With his hand he tells me , We love you. I lo —He pauses for a split second . Just hang on.
Okay. I wipe my face, but the tears keep coming. While Rice holds me, I mourn for Vivian once again .
• • •
On the outside, Memorial Hall looked like any other building in New Hope, but inside it was just one big, bland, white room. Chairs were set up facing the platform and podium and the overflow of mourners stood in the back and along the sides. I wanted to hide in the back but my mother made Baby and me sit up front with her and Adam.
What are all those TVs for? Baby asked. I studied the walls; flat screens lined the length of the hall. Each had a desk and keyboard underneath.
I’m not sure . My mother stood to give her speech. I tried to listen but it was impossible when all I could think about was Vivian and how agonizing it must have been for her at the end. While my mother talked about the strength of New Hope, I felt the opposite—drained and weak. As she spoke, the names of the victims appeared one by one on a screen behind her.
I finally gave up trying to stop the tears. I wiped my face with my sleeve and thought how inappropriate it was that I was wearing red to a memorial service. Baby’s yellow jumper was just as ridiculous; it was like we were all in a cult.
After my mother’s speech, Dr. Reynolds stepped forward. “Thank you, Director Harris. Will everyone please feel free to access individual names at any of the consoles located around the hall. Don’t hesitate to add an epitaph for friends and loved ones. In order to heal, we must first remember.” Dr. Reynolds nodded crisply at my mother and they left the platform. My mother came over to retrieve Adam before she was swept aside to speak to someone I didn’t know.
I spotted Kay and headed over to her while my mother was distracted, Baby trailing behind me.
“Hi, Kay,” I said, wondering who she lost during the Incident. None of the Guardians, but a friend maybe. Did Kay have friends?
“We probably shouldn’t be seen talking together,” she muttered to me between clenched teeth.
“Why not? It’s out that I want to be a Guardian. . . . My mother hasn’t even said anything about it.” I watched her, across the room, looking stressed but composed. “Do you think . . . maybe we should just tell my mother that you’re training me? She seems okay with me trying out. She might feel better if she knows I’m prepared.”
“Absolutely not.” Kay lowered her voice. “I’m sure that as your mother she’d want you to be safe, but as the director she would have to make an
Weitere Kostenlose Bücher