Infinite 01 - Infinite Sacrifice

roll my window down and inhale the thick, sweet memory of rain.
    “Will a life always go the way it’s planned?”
    “Souls may plan a certain goal or situation with their soul group. However, once you actually get in a life and lose your full consciousness, it can be very hard to stay on track.”
    “What happens when a soul goes off track?”
    “Their guides will try to get them back on, if possible, but sometimes it will have to be reviewed and tried again in another life. This can happen many times before a soul can learn an especially hard lesson.”
    Did I stay on track? There’s no way I stayed on track.
    “Are you saying there’s no destiny?”
    Zachariah pauses a moment before answering, “I would say it’s better understood by saying some things are quite unavoidable.”
    I hated philosophy classes. The way endless questions made my head spin. “What do you mean?”
    “For instance,” he says slowly, trying to break it down for me, “if for some reason two soul-group individuals are supposed to meet somewhere but they don’t because one party changes their minds and can’t hear the push from their spirit guide, then meeting after meeting will be attempted until they connect. It’s not necessarily destined they meet at a certain time but destined in that they will meet at some point.”
    “I understand.” Happy it doesn’t lead me to more questions. “Is the same true for situations, then? That you might miss the opportunity for a certain lesson, so the spirit guide will make it so the same lesson will be confronted again?”
    “Right. The only thing that can get in the way of this is a suicide.”
    Suicide.
    He shifts in his seat, causing the worn leather to squeak, and adds quickly, “But we’ll talk about that later.”
    I try to think of something to distract the last thought. “Are all the lives this difficult?”
    “Oh, they’re all difficult.” He laughs at my reactive expression—spirit guides do laugh after all. He continues, “ And great in their own ways. Every life has necessary value. Simply relax and take it all in.”
    “I don’t know if I want to see any more.”
    “You need a little break.”
    He starts up the Chevy, and I fold my arms on the window frame and rest my chin. He slowly drives out onto the wet sand and speeds up as he veers into the shallow surf, the Chevy chugging loudly in protest. I let the air flow through my hair as I reach my arm out so that my hand coasts like an eagle on the wind. Time dissolves away as the sun dips lower on the horizon, yet the beach never ends. He leaves the steady shore to climb the bumpy sand dunes. Revving over the crest, he stops the car overlooking a quiet bay, where the tangerine sun seems to pause on the horizon, leaving us in an everlasting sunset.
    Thinking of the last life I viewed, I break the silence. “I had to die of the plague.”
    “There were not many good deaths in the medieval ages, you know,” Zachariah says with his eyebrows raised.
    “What was the lesson I learned in this life?”
    “You have to find the answers for yourself.”
    “Was it to sacrifice for Rowan?”
    “That was part of your plan, but can you see it even more broadly?”
    “I sacrificed for many people?”
    He nods. “Do you see the progression of sacrifices you made?”
    “Well, when I was Sokaris I sacrificed others for my own purpose. When I was Alcina, I sacrificed my life in my son’s defense. When I was Liam, I sacrificed by choice. And when I was Elizabeth”—I pause now, trying to analyze—“I sacrificed myself for anyone. Even people I didn’t know.”
    “Great observation. That’s the first big lesson of incarnating, and to do so in only four lives is exceptional.” He turns to congratulate me with his hand on my shoulder. “It takes some twelve lives just to get that far.”
    “If that was it, then why do I have more lives?”
    He drops his arm and puts his other hand out to bring me back to reality. “I said first big lesson. There are a few more still.”
    “If I keep up this rate, I’ll be done soon. You must be honored to be my spirit guide.” I pat my hand on his shoulder a few times.
    “Well, don’t get too confident there. Some can get it all in their first life.”
    “Complete evolution in one life?”
    “Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Isaiah, Martin Luther, Black Elk, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and many of the saints; all examples of individuals taking on great hardship and learning the big