Interesting Times

speak you in language of celestial city of Ankh-More-Pork. Language of freedom and progress. Language of One Man, One Vote!”
    “Yes,” said Rincewind. A vision of Ankh-Morpork’s Patrician floated across his memory. One man, one vote. Yes. “I’ve met him. He’s definitely got the vote. But—”
    “Extra Luck To The People’s Endeavor!” said the boy. “Advance Judiciously!” He looked as though he’d been built with bricks.
    “Excuse me,” said Rincewind, “but why did you…a paper lantern for ceremonial purposes…bale of cotton… rescue me? Uh, that is, when I say rescue, I suppose I mean: why did you hit me on the head, tie me up, and bring me to wherever this is? Because the worst that could have happened to me in the inn was a ding around the ear for not paying for lunch—”
    “The worst that would have happened was an agonizing death over several years,” said the voice of Butterfly. She appeared around the cart and smiled grimly at Rincewind. Her hands were tucked demurely in her kimono, presumably to hide the knives.
    “Oh. Hello,” he said.
    “Great Wizard,” said Butterfly, bowing. “I you already know, but these two are Lotus Blossom and Three Yoked Oxen, other members of our cadre. We had to bring you here like this. There are spies everywhere.”
    “Timely Demise To All Enemies!” said the boy, beaming.
    “Good, yes, right,” said Rincewind. “All enemies, yes.”
    The cart was in a courtyard. The general noise level on the other side of the very high walls suggested a large city. Nasty certainty crystallized.
    “And you’ve brought me to Hunghung, haven’t you?” he said.
    Lotus Blossom’s eyes widened.
    “Then it are true ,” she said, in Rincewind’s own language. “You are the Great Wizard!”
    “Oh, you’d be amazed at the things I can foresee,” said Rincewind despondently.
    “You two, go and stable the horses,” said Butterfly, not taking her eyes off Rincewind. When they’d hurried away, with several backward glances, she walked up to him.
    “They believe,” she said. “Personally, I have my doubts. But Ly Tin Wheedle says an ass may do the work of an ox in a time of no horses. One of his less convincing aphorisms, I’ve always thought.”
    “Thank you. What is a cadre?”
    “Have you heard of the Red Army?”
    “No. Well…I heard someone shout something…”
    “According to legend, an unknown person known only as the Great Wizard led the first Red Army to an impossible victory. Of course, that was thousands of years ago. But the people believe that he—that is, you —will return to do it again. So…there should be a Red Army ready and waiting.”
    “Well, of course, a man can get a little stiff after several thousand years—”
    Her face was suddenly level with his own.
    “ Personally I suspect there has been a misunderstanding,” she hissed. “But now you’re here you’ll be a Great Wizard. If I have to prod you every step of the way!”
    The other two returned. Butterfly went from snarling tiger to demure doe in an instant.
    “And now you must come and meet the Red Army,” she said.
    “Won’t they be a little smelly—” Rincewind began, and stopped when he saw her expression.
    “The original Red Army was clearly only a legend,” she said, in fast and faultless Ankh-Morporkian. “But legends have their uses. You’d better know the legend…Great Wizard. When One Sun Mirror was fighting all the armies of the world the Great Wizard came to his aid and the earth itself rose up and fought for the new Empire. And lightning was involved. The army was made from the earth but in some way driven by the lightning. Now, lightning may kill but I suspect it lacks discipline. And earth cannot fight. But no doubt our army of the earth and sky was nothing more nor less than an uprising of the peasants themselves. Well, now we have a new army, and a name that fires the imagination. And a Great Wizard. I don’t believe in legends. But I believe that other people believe.”
    The younger girl, who had been trying to follow this, stepped forward and gripped his arm.
    “You come seeing Red Army now ,” she said.
    “Forward Motion With Masses!” said the boy, taking Rincewind’s other arm.
    “Does he always talk like that?” said Rincewind, as he was propelled gently towards a door.
    “Three Yoked Oxen does not study,” said the girl.
    “Extra Success Attend Our Leaders!”
    “‘Tuppence A Bucket, Well Stamped Down!”’