Jamie Brodie 01 - Cited to Death

floor! Down! Now! Hands behind your head!" He charged down the stairs, gun in front of him. "Get the fuck down on the fucking floor right now! On your face! Hands behind your head!" I followed him down the stairs, shotgun tucked against my shoulder. The burglar was on the floor, repeating like a mantra, "Don'tshootme don'tshootme don'tshootme..."
    Pete reached him. "Shut up. If you piss on my floor, I will shoot you."
    "Okay! Okay!" The guy did sound terrified. Pete looked up at me. "Get the duct tape. It's in the ottoman."
    Who keeps duct tape in their ottoman? But there it was. "Tear off some pieces. Keep them coming." I handed the first one to Pete. He taped the guy's fingers together first, then pulled the guy's hands behind his back and taped his wrists together. Then his ankles, then he rolled the guy over.
    "You recognize this guy?"
    "Unh unh. Bud c’odes same.”
    "How about that." Pete stood back, but kept the Glock aimed at the guy. I didn't lower the shotgun either. He looked over at me and grinned. "Nice work, pardner. Call 911 and we'll get this turkey roasted."
    I laughed. This was nuts. I got the phone and dialed.
    It only took the Santa Monica police about three minutes to get to the house. In that three minutes, the guy kept babbling, and Pete kept telling him to shut up. He sure looked like the bulkier of the two guys who had attacked me. Pete had the door open when the police arrived, and they promptly arrested the guy. He'd broken the window with a tire iron, but had left it outside. Not a very good burglar.
    The Santa Monica cops heard the story, then called West LA. Tim and a detective named Pinter arrived and discussed jurisdiction with the Santa Monica cops for a while, then hauled the guy away after everyone took statements from Pete and me. Pete called his insurance company and the Santa Monica police gave him the name of someone to call to board up the window. They stayed until he arrived. The window was boarded up, the house was secured, and everyone left. It was 4:30 am.

Thursday, June 7
    When I woke up again, it was 9:30. I could hear muffled voices coming from downstairs. I didn't want to move, but my bladder wouldn't take no for an answer. I rolled to my side and groaned at the ache in my abs. I laid in that position for a minute, waiting for the ache to fade. When it did, I swung my legs off the bed and pushed myself into a sitting position. Shit. Everything hurt. My head started throbbing again, and I realized that I could barely see. My left eye was swollen shut and my right was narrowed to a slit. My whole face hurt in addition to the pain in my head, and my left arm ached from the tetanus shot. I held onto the nightstand as I put my weight on my feet, then straightened up. Now I was dizzy too. Great. I stood still for a minute until the dizziness passed, then staggered into the bathroom.
    When I went downstairs, Tim, Kevin, and Pete were all in the living room, drinking coffee and talking. They looked up as I eased myself downstairs.
    Pete said, "Oh my God." Kevin gasped. Tim said, "Dude. You look like shit."
    I still couldn't open my jaw much. "Danks. I'm 'ware of dad."
    Pete stood up as I sat. "Can you eat anything? Do you need a pain pill?"
    "Unh unh 'n' mmm hmm."
    "I'm gonna make you a milkshake." He ran up to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water, a straw, and an oxycodone. I swallowed the pill. Pete headed back up the stairs and started banging around in the kitchen.
    Tim said, "We were just filling Pete in on our perp. When the guy found out he'd committed felony assault on a cop's brother, he nearly pissed his pants. He told us everything he knows, which wasn't much."
    "He was one dad hid me?"
    Kevin chimed in. "No. He was the guy who held you back while the second guy hit you. He's a small-time burglar with a long sheet, and he was also the guy who broke into our place."
    Tim continued. "He was hired by the guy who hit you. He only knows the guy's first name, which is Ed. Maybe. And he doesn't know who hired Ed, although he knows someone did. Ed was following someone else's orders."
    Kevin laughed. “He’s in the running for dumbest criminal of the year. He was supposed to take your computer bag with him when they ran off after beating you up. He had to come back here because he’d left it behind.”
    Pete appeared with a huge glass full of chocolate shake. I stuck my straw in and took a sip. It was heavenly. "Danks. So good."
    Pete sat down next to me. "I