Jane Actually

like Jane Austen that often ran counter to Jane’s advice.
    “I would never say that,” she objected, when Melody suggested Mary employ a double-entendre joke.
    “Oh right, like I couldn’t find worse in any of the emails you’ve sent me.”
    “Those are in private conversation. I would not make such a joke in public. And what are you laughing about?” Jane caught sight of Mary trying hard to suppress laughter.
    “Sorry, but it was funny.”
    That Mary sided with Melody added to Jane’s frustration. After all, she had chosen Mary to be her avatar, but now Melody acted as if it was her brilliant choice to employ Mary. And Mary seemed to recognize that, at present, appeasing Melody rather than Jane was in her best interest.
    All this was complicated by the lingering resentment between Jane and Melody after Jane’s social media broadside. Despite Mr Pembroke’s intervention, Jane and Melody were still nursing their grievances.
    Of course Jane knew her complaints were just a symptom of the pressures under which they were working, but she still needed to vent and the one person to whom she could turn was Albert. And so she was delighted when she saw the message: “BertieFromHants has entered the room.”
    “Albert, thank goodness. I could not remember whether you worked today.”
    “I am at work. This store’s changing rooms are just on the edge of the hotspot of the restaurant next door, so I may lose you from time to time. But after getting your email, I thought I should meet you.”
    “I don’t want to take you from your work,” Jane said, although she was hoping that Albert would do just that.
    “I am entitled to lunch breaks, which I often take,” he said, although that was a lie. He actually didn’t mind his job or his time away from being online, but technically he was permitted lunch and two fifteen minutes breaks. He was simply taking his break in the changing room, where he could still look out for shoplifters and chat with Jane.
    “Thank you,” Jane replied, “I needed your company.”
    “You mentioned frustration at work. I don’t have a shoulder to cry on, but you can vent your frustrations and I promise to be sympathetic.”
    Jane, however, had spent the last thirty minutes imagining what she would say to Albert and now that he had joined her, she realized how petty was her complaint.
    “Actually talking with you has already improved my mood. I realize how silly I would sound if I told you my complaint.” She also realized that it would require considerable obfuscation to voice her complaint without compromising the fiction she had created.
    “Well, I’m glad that’s sorted,” he said. “I guess I’ll get back to work.”
    “Don’t you dare! This is our first chat in days and yes, I know the fault lies with me.”
    Albert refrained from saying it was their first chat in almost two weeks and how much he had missed their conversations. Last year they spoke almost daily and at length via instant messaging. This year most of their communication was by email.
    “It’s perfectly understandable. Your job has overwhelmed you. You recall my behaviour when I started working?”
    The question surprised Jane. “Oh, yes. I had forgotten that.” She suddenly realized her situation was not unique.
    “Both us have spent a very long time alone and without the companionship of the living. To be suddenly working and facing the demands of a schedule again can be … actually, I’m more than a little envious of you.” As he sent his reply, he noticed a man enter the changing rooms with several trousers draped over his arm, an unusual thing for a man. Women were more likely to try multiple frocks and blouses. Men usually shopped for a specific item. The man also held a carrier bag from another store, which attracted Albert’s attention.
    “Really?” Jane replied.
    Albert took some time before replying as he followed the man to one of the booths. The man looked casual and didn’t seem to be on the lookout for security cameras. Albert returned his attention to Jane. “Uh, yes. First, I dislike anything that robs me of your company. Now our time together is dictated by your schedule and mine, but I know this complaint is shared by millions of … uh, many people have this problem. But I am also envious because you have co-workers, whilst mine is a solitary occupation. That’s why I feel the loss of your conversation so keenly.”
    “And that’s how I felt when you started working.