Jingo

hurriedly. “People follow him to see what’s going to happen next. They tell themselves that they’re just going along with it for a while and can stop any time they want to, but they never want to. It’s damn magic.”
    “No. Have you ever really watched him? I bet he’d found out everything about Jabbar by the time he’d talked to him for ten minutes. I bet he knows the name of every camel. And he’ll remember it all. People don’t take that much interest in other people, usually.” Her fingers idly traced a pattern in the sand. “So he makes you feel important.”
    “Politicians do that—” Vimes began.
    “Not the way he does, believe me. I expect Lord Vetinari remembers facts about people—”
    “Oh, you’d better believe that !”
    “—but Carrot takes an interest . He doesn’t even think about it. He makes space in his head for people. He takes an interest, and so people think they’re interesting. They feel…better when he’s around.”
    Vimes glanced down. Her fingers were drawing aimlessly in the sand again. We’re all changing in the desert, he thought. It’s not like the city, hemming your thoughts in. You can feel your mind expand to the horizons. No wonder this is where religions start. And suddenly here I am, probably not legally, just trying to do my job. Why? Because I’m too damn stupid to stop and think before I give chase, that’s why. Even Carrot knew better than to do that. I’d have just chased after Ahmed’s ship without a thought, but he was bright enough to report back to me first. He did what a responsible officer ought to do, but me…
    “Vetinari’s terrier,” he said aloud. “Chase first, and think about it afterward—”
    His eye caught the distant bulk of Gebra. Out there was a Klatchian army, and somewhere over there was the Ankh-Morpork army, and he was with a handful of people and no plan because he’d chased first and—
    “But I had to,” he said. “Any copper wouldn’t have let a suspect like Ahmed get—”
    Once again he had the feeling that the problem he was facing wasn’t really a problem at all. It was something very obvious. He was the problem. He wasn’t thinking right.
    Come to think of it, he hadn’t really thought at all.
    He glanced down again at the trapped company. They had stripped down to their loincloths and were looking very sheepish, as men generally do in their underwear.
    Carrot’s white robe still flapped in the breeze. He hasn’t been here a day, thought Vimes, and already he’s wearing the desert like a pair of sandals.
    “…er…bingeley-bingeley beep?”
    “Is that your demon diary?” said Angua.
    Vimes rolled his eyes. “Yes. Although it seems to be talking about someone else.”
    “…er…three pee em,” the demon muttered slowly, “…day not filled in…Check Wall Defences…”
    “See? It thinks I’m in Ankh-Morpork! It cost Sybil three hundred dollars and it can’t even keep track of where I am.”
    He flicked his cigar butt away and stood up.
    “I’d better get down there,” he said. “After all, I am the boss.”
    He slithered his way down the dune and strolled toward Carrot, who salaamed to him.
    “A salute would do, captain, thanks all the same.”
    “Sorry, sir. I think I got a bit carried away.”
    “Why’ve you made them strip off?”
    “Makes them a bit of a laughingstock when they return, sir. A blow to their pride.” He leaned closer and whispered, “I’ve let their commander keep his clothes on, though. It doesn’t do to show up the officers.”
    “Really?” said Vimes.
    “And some want to join us, sir. There’s Goriff’s lad and a few others. They were just dragooned into the army yesterday. They don’t even know why they’re fighting. So I said they could.”
    Vimes took the captain aside. “Er…I don’t remember suggesting that any of the prisoners joined us,” he said quietly.
    “Well, sir…I thought, what with our army approaching, and since quite a lot of these lads are from various corners of the empire and don’t like the Klatchians any more than we do, I thought that a flying column of guerrilla fighters—”
    “We aren’t soldiers!”
    “Er, I thought we were soldiers—”
    “Yes, yes, all right. In a way …but really we’re coppers, like we’ve always been. We don’t kill people unless—”
    Ahmed? Everyone’s slightly on edge when he’s around, he worries people, he gets information from all over the place, he seems to go where