Killing Jesus: A History

to return to Jerusalem, but he does not know the hour or the exact location—and even when he obtains this information, he must still find a way to sneak off and alert Caiaphas.

The Last Supper in the Upper Room
    Once in the room, Jesus begins the evening by humbling himself and washing each man’s feet with water. This is a task normally reserved for slaves and servants, and certainly not for a venerated teacher of the faith. The disciples are touched by this show of servility and the humility it implies. Jesus knows them and their personalities so well and accepts them without judgment: Simon the zealot, with his passion for politics; the impulsive Peter; James and John, the boisterous “sons of thunder,” as Jesus describes them; 2 the intense and often gloomy Thomas; the upbeat Andrew; the downtrodden Philip; and the rest. Their time together has changed the lives of every man in this room. And as Jesus carefully and lovingly rinses the road dust from their feet, the depth of his affection is clear.
    During dinner, Jesus turns all that good feeling into despair. “I tell you the truth,” he says, “one of you will betray me.”
    The disciples haven’t been paying close attention to their leader. The meal has been served and they are reclined, chatting with one another as they pick food from the small plates. But now shock and sadness fill the room. The disciples each take mental inventory, search for some sign of doubt or weakness that would cause any of them to hand over Jesus. “Surely, not I, Lord,” they say, one by one. The comment goes around the table.
    “It is one of the twelve,” Jesus assures them. “One who dips bread into the bowl with me. The Son of Man will go, just as it is written. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.”
    As the conversation roars back into life, with each man wondering to his neighbor about the identity of the betrayer, Peter, in particular, is agitated. He signals to John, who rests on the pillow next to Jesus.
    “Ask him which one he means,” Peter says.
    “Lord, who is it?” John asks, leaning closer to the Nazarene. He sits to Jesus’s right, while Judas sits on Jesus’s immediate left.
    “Surely not I, Rabbi?” Judas blurts out.
    “Yes, it is you,” Jesus quietly answers. “What you are about to do, do quickly.”
    The room is noisy as the men talk among themselves, and most miss the final exchange between Judas and Jesus because the two men are sitting so close together. As Judas hastily stands and leaves, some assume that he is off to get more food or drink.
    The traitor steps out into the night. Both he and the Nazarene know exactly where he’s going. Jesus once trusted Judas, appointing him treasurer of the disciples, and openly called him friend. But as so often happens when money is involved, years of friendship can quickly evaporate.
    Clutching his money bag, Judas walks through the streets and narrow alleys of the Lower City and up the steep hill to give Caiaphas the good news.
    *   *   *
    The hour is late, and Jesus is on the move. He and his disciples walk across the Kidron Valley to an olive garden at the base of the Mount of Olives. Even though he knows they must be weary from the wine and food, he asks the disciples to stand guard while he climbs the hillside to find a private place to be alone.
    “Sit here while I pray,” he orders the men before ascending the steep slope. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he tells the disciples. “Stay here and keep watch.”
    The moon is nearly full and provides ample light. Jesus finds a place in the darkness and prays. “Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”
    It is a moment of anguish and despair. Jesus is convinced that he will die. It will be a bloody death, on a Roman cross, with all the pain and public ridicule that implies. The people who have heard his marvelous words in the Temple courts will see him humiliated, and they will not understand how a man who claims to be the Son of God can allow himself to be crucified.
    It would be so much easier if Jesus could just escape. He could keep on climbing the hill and walk straight back to Bethany. In the morning, he might journey home to Galilee, there to grow old quietly and raise a family. His words have accomplished just enough to give the people hope, but he never planned to