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the worst of all possible places.”
    “No.” Imriel lifted his head, his expression desperate and stubborn. “You didn’t find me. You came and got me. When the queen’s men did not dare, when the Lugal of Kebbel-im-Akkad did not dare- you did! Other nobles foster their children, I know that! Why couldn’t I be fostered with you and Joscelin? Because the queen is angry? Because...” his voice faltered, “… because you don’t want me? I’ve caused you trouble, I know-”
    “ No !” The word came out sharper and more harsh than I intended. I sighed and ran a hand through my wind-disheveled locks. I was making a mess of this conversation. “Imriel. We love you dearly, Joscelin and I both. If it were only that... Elua! We would adopt you in a heartbeat.”
    He looked at me with the terrible hunger only an abandoned child can muster. So be it, then. I couldn’t bear to leave him in anguish. But I had to be certain. “You remember how you hated me in Daršanga?” I asked him.
    Imriel nodded.
    “And how the way I was frightened you, after Saba?”
    He nodded again.
    “Well.” I drew a shuddering breath. “It’s part of who I am, Imri; of what I am. And that ... that will never change, while I live. The manner of it may, but the nature remains the same. I am an anguissette , Kushiel’s Chosen. Some of the worst things you have endured ... those are things I have known freely, of my own will. Do you understand that?”
    “Yes,” he murmured.
    “You’ve Kushiel’s blood in your own veins.” I took one of his hands in mine and turned it over, showing him the blue veins that coursed in his fine wrist. “One day, you will know it. And it will make matters more difficult.”
    “No!” He snatched his hand away. “Never! I am not like that. Like him .” His face contorted with loathing. “Like her .”
    Like the Mahrkagir.
    Like his mother.
    “No,” I said, “you’re not. You are your own. But you’re half-Kusheline, Imriel, of one of the oldest and purest bloodlines in the realm. And betimes it will out. Betimes you will despise me, as you did in Daršanga. There was nothing said of me there that was not true. And betimes you may despise Joscelin, who knows it, and chooses to remain. It is a great mystery, Kushiel’s mercy. The part I understand is the part that yields . Your birthright is the other part.”
    His face worked. “I don’t want it. I don’t! Why are you telling me this?”
    “Because it is true,” I said softly. “And these are things you need to know if it is your wish, truly your wish, to be adopted into my household.”
    Imriel caught his breath; not daring to breathe, not daring to hope. I knew that feeling too well. “Do you mean it?” The words emerged in a breathless rush.
    I nodded. “It won’t be easy,” I said. Even if my plan works, and I’m not wholly sure it will, Joscelin and I are going to be in considerable disfavor. But if it means keeping you with us, it will be worth it, love. And that much I can promise. You see, the Queen owes me a favor. A very large favor-”
    And that was all I got out before Imriel flung himself on me, his arms in a stranglehold about my neck. All I could do was hold him, not understanding a word of the incomprehensible syllables he gasped into my hair. All the fears I had, all the pitfalls I saw ahead as he grew to manhood-they measured as nothing next to this. All I could do was hold him hard and blink ineffectually at the tears that stung my eyes.
    “What did I miss? Has someone died?”
    It was Joscelin, emerged at last from his bout of seasickness, standing on the deck and regarding us with perplexity. Imriel relinquished his grip on me to greet Joscelin with a wordless shout of joy, taking a standing leap into his arms. Joscelin caught him and staggered.
    “I take it you told him,” he said to me over Imriel’s head.
    “Mm-hmm.”
    “Well.” Joscelin bent his head to kiss Imriel’s cheek. “I hope you don’t think it’s always going to be this exciting in our household, love.”
    And Imriel, overwrought, burst into tears.
    It took some time to calm him, and more time to explain the procedures that must needs occur for the adoption to take place. It did not mean, I told him sternly, that he would no longer be a member of House Courcel. If he wished, when he gained his majority at the age of eighteen, he had the right to repudiate his House, although I did not think he would or should. We both of us, I said,