Last Dance, Last Chance

place by hairspray, and then toupees held down with glues, clips, and tie-downs. He even resorted to intricate weaves that combined human hair from someone else with the rapidly retreating rim of hair that still remained.
    He concluded that women wanted large, perky breasts and men wanted hair. Anthony figured—correctly—that there would be an unlimited market for an expensive real hairpiece that would never blow off or even slip sideways. As an intern, he had once seen a technique called implantology in which surgeons used snaps to anchor artificial eyes, noses, and even ears. Further, Anthony recalled that dental surgeons had successfully implanted teeth in a procedure known as osseointegration, in which the replacement tooth was threaded into the softer bone tissue of the jaw. After about four months’ healing time, the teeth had literally grown into the bone.
    What if a man—or a woman, for that matter—could have snaps implanted into their skulls? Anthony thought it could be possible to have the receptacle part of the snap sewn into a hairpiece. Actually, the more he thought about it, the more it seemed to him that putting snaps into a skull would pose less danger of infection than putting a tooth into a bacteria-laden mouth.
    “I recall that at the time, it seemed like a crazy idea,” Anthony said. “I initially exercised caution with whom I would discuss the details of the project.”
    Other doctors, including his own father, found his research bizarre, but Anthony kept on. He knew that bolts were routinely inserted into human skulls to give patients with unstable spines traction until they healed. Why not move up the side of the head and somehow insert the male part of a snap into the bone?
    He felt he was on to something big. But who would test it? There had to be a guinea pig willing to be a modern-day Frankenstein with semipermanent metal “bolts” protruding from his head. Men were not likely to stand in line for that operation, even if the metal would never show beneath the attached hairpiece.
    Anthony thought of Sy Sperling, president of the Hair Club for Men, a successful entrepreneur whose familiar television commercial featured him saying, “I’m not only the president; I’m a client!”
    It dawned on Anthony that he should be his own first patient. If he truly believed that his invention was sound, he should be willing to undergo the necessary surgery. “Would it not be a tremendous advertising advantage to proclaim that I’m not only the doctor, I’m the patient?” he mused. “Who would perform the first surgery? Who did I trust? Who had the skill and confidentiality to be trusted with my technique…which, if successful, I hoped could be patented. The answer was patently obvious: my own father. He certainly had the necessary skills and could be trusted.”
    It took some convincing for Anthony to persuade his father to operate on him. Finally, Dr. Ralph Pignataro agreed, and Anthony noted that a distinguished dentist, experienced in prosthetic surgery, assisted.
    Afterward, Anthony proclaimed the procedure no more painful than having a cavity filled. His father had drilled four holes in his bald head. After three and a half months of healing, an implant was integrated into the surrounding bone, and then the center screw was removed and a protruding bolt with a socket remained just above the skin. “The female or ball portion of the attachment was fastened to a custom skullcap cover with synthetic hair—which was then easily snapped into the socket of the bolt.”
    Anthony was elated. His invention worked, and he would be the main model. His “hair” stayed on beautifully. It was, he believed, the first of many triumphs—but this one meant the most to him because he saw new respect in his father’s eyes. He began to research how he could best sell his new process and get the most publicity out of it.
     
    Debbie was happy for Anthony and enthusiastic because he was so overjoyed about having hair again—but then, she had always thought her husband was handsome. Their family life was going well—as well as it could when she lived with a man of such energy and mercurial temperament. They did things as a family, going for ice cream or to the wonderful Buffalo Zoo. Ralph still went fishing with his father and grandfather, and Anthony promised him he could go hunting with them as soon as he was old enough.
    Hunting was important to Anthony, although it seemed a little strange