Left for Garbage

because I have a blood blister under my left breast that won’t go away. It’s not like I can just pick up the phone and make a doctor’s appointment. This is getting old, but I keep dreaming of the day I’m out and able to shave my legs without a goddamned C.O. bending over me.
    I’ve been reading a book about Scientology, too. It’s interesting stuff. I really admire Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, and their little girl reminds me of Deeley. Main thing is to remain positive. I know I can never replace Deeley, but I’m looking to the future and want to be a good mother one day down the road.
    I know a lot of people will never believe this, but I want to adopt a baby after I am freed, one who needs a good home. There are so many children out there who need good homes, and I would never let that baby out of my sight. I will apply everything I’ve learned on this journey and put it to proper use. No child of mine will ever have to go through the things I’ve experienced growing up.

Seeley Brown
    (Brother of Denise Brown)

    The FBI recently had me take a paternity test to prove I am not Deeley’s biological father, which was obviously both humiliating and painful in its implications , and made much more so since they leaked it to the Charlotte Hope show about ten minutes after I walked out of the lab. Of course it came back negative but I still felt as mournful at her funeral as any father would feel. I loved Deeley from the moment she was born, although my parents wanted me nowhere near the hospital that day. If anyone should have been there to welcome that little girl, it’s me.
    My niece’s funeral, February 10, 2009, was the hardest day in the lives of our entire family. My sister couldn’t attend and that is probably the worst part. I felt that the county jail should have given her permission to attend and to be with us , her family, to allow her at least a few minutes of closure with her daughter that we were burying along with all our hearts, but she was confined to her jail cell for this horrific day. I can only hope she was watching.
    Yes, we were saying goodbye to our precious Deeley, but there were many other messages we needed to convey. Our public memorial was broadcast live-stream on local news and over the Internet, so we hoped our voices, coming straight from the church, would afford us the opportunity to gather the public compassion our family deserves and more importantly to allow Den ise to be a part of the service.
    My father was extremely emotional when he addressed the crowd and reminded everyone that his daughter needs love and understanding while she sits in jail. He encouraged people to continue writing to Denise. He explained how much those letters of support help Denise to endure. He pleaded for people to keep an open mind, and reminded everyone that no one deserves to walk in our shoes. “It's God's day. It's Deeley’s day, today,” he cried. And my mother spoke of what a happy child Deeley was, and we all felt proud of our own family, hoping the public would be proud of our bravery. I know there’s a fat chance of that happening, but maybe if we continue to remind people of the living hell we dwell in due to this tragedy, we might start to get the peace we deserve, something that’s long overdue.
    We chose the Baptist Church in Orlando that holds over five thousand people, and over a thousand showed up. There were few dry eyes. My mother had publicly asked that only those with the purest of hearts show up, and she sure made it clear that Rick Daley had better not come show his face on this grave day. That man has betrayed our family for the very last time. If he tried to show up, my mom was going to personally kick him out, and it would’ve been on public display for everyone to see. That jerk had publicly acc used us of wanting to put on a ‘Margaret show’ rather than a memorial for our precious Deeley, and he said the police have the right person in jail. How dare he speak of our family with such disrespect?
    Even my grandmother, Ruthie, my mom’s mother, expressed her sorrow that Denise couldn’t be with us on this important day. She publicly addressed Denise, saying she wished she could erase her tears. Her grief-struck eyes touched all of us when the video montage of Deeley played up on the big screen.
    This was a day that broke us all.
    My strongest wish was to comfort Denise on such a difficult day and when I took over the pulpit and spoke my mind. I thanked