Life and Death are Wearing Me Out

Xu Bao took several steps forward, and the boys matched him, going backward. Then Xu Bao charged, and the boys scattered in all directions. Xu Bao turned back to me, gelding on his mind. The boys came back, formed up, and followed him, repeating their ditty:
    Xu Bao Xu Bao, sees an egg and takes a bite!
    This time, Xu Bao had no time for those little pests. Taking a wide berth, he ran up in front of Lan Lian and started walking backward.
    “Lan Lian,” he said, “I know this donkey’s bitten people. Every time he does that, you have to come up with medical expenses and lots of apologies. I say geld him. He’ll be back in three days, completely recovered, the most obedient donkey you could ask for, guaranteed.”
    Lan Lian ignored him; my heart was pounding. My temper was something Lan Lian knew all too well. So he grabbed hold of the bit in my mouth and kept me from going after the man.
    Xu Bao scuffled along, raising dust as he walked backward, the bastard, probably something he did a lot. He had a shriveled little face adorned with baggy triangular eyes and front teeth with a big space between them, from which spittle sprayed whenever he talked.
    “Take my advice, Lan Lian,” he said, “you need to geld him; gelding is good, it’ll save you trouble. I usually charge five yuan, but for you I’ll do it for nothing.”
    Lan Lian stopped, smirked, and said:
    “Xu Bao, why don’t you go home and geld your old man?”
    “What kind of talk is that?” Xu Bao squeaked.
    “If that bothers you, then let’s see what my donkey has to say.” He let go of my reins and said, “Sic him, Blackie!”
    With a loud bray, I reared up, the way I’d mounted Huahua, aiming to come down on Xu Bao’s scrawny head. People out on the street screeched in horror; the little brats swallowed their shouts. Now I’m going to feel and hear my hooves landing on Xu Bao’s cranium, I was thinking. But that didn’t happen. I didn’t see the contorted look of shock I’d expected and didn’t hear the howls of fright I’d hoped for; what I did see, out of the corner of my eye, was a slippery figure darting under my exposed belly, and I had a premonition of bad things to come. Unfortunately, my reactions were too slow; a sudden chill struck my genitals, followed by a sharp, intense pain. I felt an immediate sense of loss and knew I’d been tricked. Twisting my body to look behind me, the first thing I saw was blood on my rear legs. The next things I saw was Xu Bao, standing by the roadside, a bloody gray gonad in the palm of his hand; he was grinning from ear to ear and showing off his prize to a bunch of gawkers, who shouted their approval.
    “Xu Bao, you bastard, you’ve ruined my donkey,” my master cried out in agony. But before he could leave my side and tear into the evil veterinarian, Xu Bao dropped the gonad into his bag and flashed his knife in a threatening manner. My master fell back weakly.
    “I did nothing wrong, Lan Lian,” Xu Bao said as he pointed to the gawkers. “It was obvious to everyone, including our young friends here, that you let your donkey attack people, and it was my right to protect myself. It’s a good thing I was on my toes, or my head would be a squashed gourd by now. So I’m the good guy here, Lan Lian.”
    “But you’ve ruined my donkey. . . .”
    “That was my plan, and I’m the one who could have done just that. But I felt sorry for a fellow villager and held back. That donkey has three gonads, and I only took one. That’ll calm him down a bit, but he’ll still be a spirited animal. You should damn well be thanking me. It’s not too late, you know.”
    Lan Lian bent over to examine my privates, where he discovered that Xu Bao was telling the truth. That helped, but not enough to thank the man. No matter how you looked at it, the sneaky bastard had taken one of my gonads without prior consent.
    “Xu Bao, take heed,” Lan Lian said. “If anything happens to my donkey because of this, you’ll pay, and pay dearly.”
    “The only way this donkey won’t live to be a hundred is if you mix arsenic into his feed. I advise you not to work him in the field today. Take him home, feed him nutritious food, and rub on some salt water. The wound will heal in a couple of days.”
    Lan Lian took Xu Bao’s advice without any public acknowledgment. That eased my suffering a little, but it was still with me, and still strong. I glared at the bastard who would soon swallow my gonad, and was