Lifesaving for Beginners

about hugging me. Minnie and I don’t hug. It’s like an unspoken pact we made a long time ago. If she hugs me now, I think I’ll come undone. I really do.
    Into the kitchen at that precise moment walks Maurice, back from Mensa. I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad to see him.
    Maurice hugs me. He’s terribly tactile. His anorak makes a swishing noise when he moves. He smells of anchovies. Minnie was right about them.
    Maurice takes down the hood of his anorak and says, ‘So, Kat, how’s life in the technical writing world?’
    I picked technical writing because it’s such a safe haven. Normal people don’t know anything about technical writing. But Maurice knows. Probably because he’s a genius.
    And he’s interested in it.
    He says, ‘What project are you working on at the moment?’ He always asks that. It’s fine, though. I know a hell of a lot about technical writing when you consider that I’ve never done a day’s work in it in my life. I subscribe to a dreadfully dull blog about technical writing issues. It’s called Technical Writing Issues .
    Other than that, I make it up. And because I’m a fiction writer I’m pretty good at that too. I tell him about some obscure Java product that hasn’t come to market yet. He’s heard of it.
    ‘Is that the New Field Communications Library?’ he wants to know.
    ‘No, it’s more for the Augmented Reality stuff on mobile,’ I tell him.
    He whistles. ‘Impressive,’ he says and I take a step back because of his breath, which is atrociously anchovy. Minnie doesn’t notice. In fact, she puts her face right in front of his and kisses him, as if there is nothing anchovy about his breath at all.
    ‘I told Kat our news.’
    ‘I thought we weren’t telling people until week twelve?’ Maurice smiles when he says this but it is a bit of an effort of a smile, as if he wishes that there was no one else in the kitchen – or perhaps the world – only him and Minnie and Mensa and the baby in Minnie’s belly.
    Minnie says, ‘I just told Kat. She not people. Besides, it’s practically twelve weeks. And Kat won’t tell anyone. Sure you won’t?’ Minnie’s smile is directed at me and edged with menace, like a warning of the things Minnie will do to me if I decide to spill the beans.
    I shake my head and say, ‘Congratulations,’ which gives Maurice an excuse to hug me again and I hold my breath so I don’t inhale the anchovies, and Minnie is saying something but I can’t hear what it is because of the swishing of Maurice’s anorak.
    I say, ‘I’ll go.’
    Maurice looks at Minnie, then back at me. ‘What’s up with you two?’ Wary now, as if he finally senses something awry. Genius, my arse.
    ‘Nothing.’
    I move towards the kitchen door. ‘I was leaving anyway.’
    Minnie follows me. ‘I’ll see you out.’
    ‘No, no don’t, it’s too cold, I’ll see myself out.’
    Minnie sees me out. At the door, she says, ‘What are you going to do?’
    ‘I’m not sure yet.’ As if, at some stage in the not-too-distant future, I will be sure. Just not right now.
    ‘I think you should meet her.’
    And now Minnie’s hallway feels as dark as mine. I think about going back. Going back to my hallway with the red flashing light. I don’t want to.
    I open the hall door. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow.’
    ‘I really do, Kat. I think you should meet her. I think it would be good for you.’
    I don’t ask her why. Why she thinks it would be good for me. Instead, I say, ‘Go on, you’ll catch your death.’ Already the rain is advancing into the hall.
    ‘I’ll come with you, if you like.’ Minnie’s hand is on the slight swell of her belly. I don’t think she is aware of the gesture. There is something intimate about it. Like an overheard conversation between lovers. It warms you and, at the same time, leaves you with a feeling of loss, even though nothing has been given. Nothing has been taken away.
    I nod and wave and run towards my car.
    This is what I am good at.
    Running.
    This is where I excel.

 
    Auntie May looks almost exactly the same as Mam, especially when she smiles or cries. Not that Mam ever really cried. Just at movies, mostly. Like Up . And Toy Story 3 . Toy Story 3 nearly broke her heart clean in two. That’s what she said. Clean in two.
    Auntie May is crying. So is Faith. They’re hugging each other and crying. I don’t know why we’re here. Faith said we were going to a hotel. But then, on the bus from the airport