Lifesaving for Beginners

pregnant twice. She couldn’t believe it.’
    May turns to the next page of the album. ‘Lookit!’ she says, nodding at a picture. ‘Look at the pair of you there.’ She’s smiling at the picture and Faith smiles too.
    It’s Niall’s turn and he takes ages to make a move so I walk over to the couch and look at the picture that May is pointing to. I’ve seen that one loads of times. Mam has it in a frame in her bedroom. Her and Faith. On the beach in Donabate. I know it’s Donabate and not Brighton because of the sand. They have their backs to the camera, walking away. Faith is carrying a bucket full of shells and she comes up to Mam’s knees. Mam has to bend to reach her hand. Faith is wearing nothing except a nappy. Mam’s in her bare feet and has one of Dad’s shirts on over her togs. They’re both smiling. You can see the smiles in the sides of their faces because they’re looking at each other.
    May puts her finger on Mam’s face. Slides it across like she’s taking the hair out of her eyes. She says, ‘That was taken a week after you arrived. One week. I never saw her so happy.’ She looks at Faith. ‘She didn’t tell you because she loved you. She never wanted you to feel any different to the boys.’
    Uncle Niall says, ‘Beat that!’
    That means it’s my go and May looks up then and notices me, standing behind her, peering over her shoulder.
    ‘I’ve a picture like that of you and your mam too, Milo. Taken on Donabate beach. I’m sure of it.’ She starts flipping through the pages. I hope she doesn’t find it. I really do. Imagine what Damo would say if he saw a picture of me in a nappy?
    After I beat Niall four times in a row, he says he can’t take it anymore and he goes into the kitchen to get himself a stiff drink, which turns out to be a can of Coke. ‘I suppose you want one too?’ I nod. I know he’s only pretending to be mad.
    Auntie May insists on tucking me into bed. She tucks the covers around me so tightly, I’m like a sausage in a roll and I can barely breathe. She says, ‘Promise me you’ll never run away again, Milo.’ Which means that Faith has told her everything. I was really hoping she wouldn’t. I say, ‘I didn’t run away. Not really.’ May pulls the blanket under my chin as if it’s a napkin. She says, ‘I’d be worried sick if I thought you were going to run away again, d’ya hear me?’ There’s no point saying anything so I just nod.
    She clears her throat, which means she’s going to say more stuff. I wait. She says, ‘So . . . you and Faith . . . you’re going off tomorrow to meet this . . . this woman . . . Katherine Kavanagh.’ She picks up a thread that’s sticking out of a bit of the blanket and rubs it between her fingers.
    I say, ‘I’m not sure. Faith hasn’t said anything about tomorrow yet. And I’m not supposed to ask. I promised.’
    May smiles and nods. She doesn’t say anything else. She looks like she’s trying to work out a really hard sum in her head.
    I say, ‘Do you think Mam would mind?’
    May looks at me. ‘Mind?’
    ‘About us. Being in Ireland. Looking for Faith’s real mother.’
    ‘Your mother was Faith’s real mother.’ She sounds a bit mad now so I just nod. After a while, May sighs and says, ‘I’m sorry, Milo. It’s just . . . things haven’t been great lately, have they?’
    I shake my head.
    She puts her hand on my shoulder. ‘Maybe you’ll come and spend a week with us in the summertime? Niall and Finn could take you fishing. You’d like that. Wouldn’t you?’
    I nod, except that I don’t want to come here for a week in the summertime. I think it might be something to do with Auntie May. I mean, she’s nice and everything. It’s just . . . it might be something to do with her looking like Mam except that she isn’t Mam, and I know it’s weird but it makes me feel a bit funny. Like . . . I don’t know. Just funny. Mrs Appleby says it’s OK to feel sad and mostly I do my best not to think about it in Brighton. But in Dublin, I keep thinking about it. I don’t know why. Usually, I think about great stuff. Like lifesaving. And hanging around with Damo and Carla. Or playing alien-chasing in the playground at breaktime.
    I say, ‘Do you know what time we’re leaving tomorrow?’
    May says, ‘After breakfast. I’ll make pancakes.’
    I say, ‘Is there a train into the city centre then?’
    May nods her head. ‘Don’t worry, Milo. There’re lots of trains. Or I can drive