Lifesaving for Beginners

He’s in the house. He’s . . . he’s in great form. He’s playing Super Mario.’
    I say, ‘He must be winning, so. Who’s he playing with? Sophie?’
    Dad says, ‘Well, no. That’s what I’m ringing about, actually.’
    Maybe there’s something the matter with Sophie? ‘Is Sophie OK?’
    ‘Yes, yes, she’s fine. At least, I’m sure Sophie is fine. I haven’t seen her today.’
    This is why my father never rings me. Never rings anyone. He is unable to communicate on the phone. You have to be direct with him. In the end, I have to say, ‘Why are you ringing me?’
    ‘Faith is here.’
    I’m stopped at a red light. It’s like the whole world is stopped at the red light. Nothing moves. Everything dims round the edges. Quietens.
    ‘Kat? . . . Kat, are you there? . . . Say something, for God’s sake.’
    I jump when the car horns blare. The lights have turned green.
    ‘Kat?’
    A car swerves out from behind. Overtakes. The driver shouts at me. I know he is shouting because of his face. The colour of it. The wild gesture of his hand. The shape of his mouth.
    I sit there.
    ‘Kat? Are you there?’
    I put on my hazard lights. The line of cars behind overtake, one by one.
    ‘For God’s sake, Kat, bloody say something.’ My father’s whisper is like a shout. It would be a shout except someone is there. He can’t shout in front of visitors. Nice people don’t shout in front of visitors.
    The lights change from green to amber. Now they’re red again.
    ‘Dad?’
    ‘Look, Kat, I know this is a shock.’
    The pedestrian lights are green now. A woman crosses the road, wheeling a pram. The hood is up. You can’t see the baby.
    He says, ‘Are you in the car?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘Good. That’s good. You can drive. You can drive over to the house.’
    ‘Why?’
    ‘What do you mean, why? Because they’re here. They’re in the house. You need to come over.’
    ‘No.’
    ‘No?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘Kat?’
    ‘I can’t.’
    ‘You can. Of course you can.’
    The lights turn green again. The horns blare and the cars overtake.
    I don’t look at them as they pass by so I can’t be sure about their hands. Gesturing. That’s what I’d do.
    The hazard lights blink.
    On.
    Off.
    On.
    Off.
    ‘Kat?’
    The hands gripping the wheel don’t feel like my hands. I can’t feel them. I can’t feel anything.
    ‘Listen to me, love. That young girl has come all the way from Brighton to meet you. You have to come.’
    ‘I can’t. I just can’t. I’m sorry. I have to go.’
    ‘Kat, please, don’t hang up.’
    I hang up.
    The lights turn red.

 
    Faith’s birth grandfather’s house is legend. I don’t know if it has ten bedrooms because I haven’t counted all of them but I bet it does. I reckon Faith’s granny and granddad are bookworms because there’re bookshelves in every room I’ve been in so far, which is four. Some of the books are really old and look like they might fall apart if you touch them. If Mam were here, she’d say, ‘Don’t even think about it, Milo.’ It’s too cold to go into the back garden, which is a pity because there are two orchards out there. Ed says his dad grows tomatoes and apples and pears in one of them but the other one has nothing but orchids. He says his mam loves orchids but they’re really hard to grow and sometimes they die. But the tomatoes are dead easy. Ed says some of them grow as big as baseballs. I’ve never played baseball. He says his dad makes tomato juice because Kat loves Bloody Marys. Whatever they are.
    There’s a room called a den and that’s where me and Ed are. We’re playing Mario Kart. He’s got a Wii. I tell him I’m saving up for a PlayStation 3. Ed lets me be Mario. He says he doesn’t mind being Luigi. He’s winning but it’s only because he practises every single day. He said so.
    When I finish the third lap of Luigi’s Mansion, I say, ‘How old are you?’
    Ed says, ‘Thirty-four.’
    I don’t think Ed is thirty-four because that’s middle-aged.
    We look at the results and then Ed presses Start again. He says, ‘How old are you?’
    I say, ‘I’m nine but I’ll be ten really soon.’
    Ed says, ‘What’s your mam going to buy you?’
    I say, ‘WATCH OUT!’ because Bowser is about to overtake him.
    Ed moves his whole body when he’s playing. Like he’s right inside the game. That would be cool. To be right inside the game.
    After a while, I say, ‘I go to lifesaving class. Back in Brighton, I mean.’
    Ed says,