Lifesaving for Beginners

‘Damo’, I’ll say ‘Damien Sullivan’. That’s usually the kind of stuff adults want to know.
    But she doesn’t ask me any of that. She takes a drink of water. The bones in her neck stick out when she swallows. I know I’m not supposed to stare but it’s hard sometimes.
    The grandfather comes back. Sits down. Janet asks Ed to say Grace and he says, ‘GRACE!’ and roars laughing, and so do I because it’s pretty funny when you think about it. Faith gives me daggers and Janet says, ‘EDWARD!’ and then everybody starts eating their dinner and nobody says anything for a while.
    Then, the grandfather says, ‘I’ve left another message for Kat. I’d say she’s . . .’ He looks at his watch. ‘Well, she should be home by now but she could have been delayed. The traffic . . . it can be bad at this time of the day. Anytime of the day, really.’
    I think he’s talking to Faith. She puts her knife and fork on her plate the way people do when they’ve finished eating, except I don’t think she’s eaten anything yet. I’m nearly finished. The fish isn’t all that bad.
    He pours wine into Faith’s glass. She shakes her head and says, ‘No, thank you.’
    He stops pouring. Puts the bottle down. He says, ‘Are you all right, my dear?’
    Faith nods her head.
    He says, ‘Look, I know this isn’t easy but when Kat gets here . . .’
    Faith says, ‘She’s not coming. I know she’s not coming. She didn’t make contact with me before. Why should she bother now?’
    I don’t know the answers to any of those questions so I don’t say anything. I don’t think anybody else knows either. It’s pretty quiet round the table.
    Faith says, ‘If my . . . my adoptive mother hadn’t died, I would never have known. About Kat. Katherine. Whatever you call her. I would never have known. Would I?’
    Then she changes her mind about the wine because she picks up the bottle and pours it into her glass. Right up to the top. She takes a big, long drink out of it. When she puts her glass back on the table, she has wine stains at the top of her mouth, like fangs.
    The grandfather picks up his napkin. Wipes his mouth, even though there are no wine fangs at the top of his. He says, ‘I . . . I don’t know, Faith. I’m sorry. I can’t speak for Kat. But I know that she will regret not coming here today. She’s just . . .’ He looks at his wife but she keeps chewing and chewing and chewing and not looking back at him. I’ve never seen anyone chew as much as she does. I really haven’t.
    The grandfather looks at Faith again. ‘She just needs a bit of time, that’s all. It’s been a bit of a shock for her, I suppose.’
    Faith says, ‘It’s been a bit of a shock for me too.’ Her voice sounds funny. High and tight. I cross my fingers and toes. I know Faith wouldn’t want to cry. Especially not in front of strangers.
    Leonard says, ‘Of course, of course, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean . . . I’m sorry.’
    No one says anything. There’s just silence. Even Janet has stopped chewing. Ed has finished his dinner and has left the table. I don’t know where he’s gone. I want to finish my dinner so I can leave the table too but I don’t want to make any noise. That’s how quiet everything is. Even my breathing sounds loud.
    After a while, Faith looks up. She looks at Janet. She says, ‘Why don’t you say something?’ Her voice is mostly back to normal. I keep my fingers crossed, though. Just in case.
    Janet takes a long time to answer. Finally, she says, ‘That’s the thing, Faith. We’ve never really said anything. Afterwards, I mean. Katherine was fifteen years old. She was just a girl. Things were different then. I thought . . .’ She nods at the grandfather. ‘We all thought . . . it was for the best.’
    The grandfather puts his hand on top of Janet’s.
    Janet says, ‘It takes Katherine a good while to come round to things. Even when she was a child. It took her ages to get over starting school. Mrs Higginbotham said she cried every morning for a year and a half. And after that, well, I suppose she just got used to it.’
    I want to know who Mrs Higginbotham is, but I don’t ask.
    That’s when Ed bursts into the room. Janet looks up and says, ‘You have parsley sauce on your chin, Edward.’
    My napkin is folded on the table beside me so I pick it up and shake it out and use it to wipe round my mouth. I don’t think I have parsley sauce on my chin but you can never be sure.
    Ed wipes his