Living Dead in Dallas

asked. I could feel my mouth setting stubborn, and my brows drawing in, and I knew my face was getting mad. I was trying hard not to read their minds, trying hard to stay completely out of this, but it wasn’t easy. Bud Dearborn was average, but Alcee projected his thoughts like a lighthouse sends a signal. Right now he was beaming disgust and fear.
    In the months before I’d met Bill, and found that he treasured that disability of mine—my gift, as he saw it—I’d done my best to pretend to myself and everyone else that I couldn’t really “read” minds. But since Bill had liberated me from the little prison I’d built for myself, I’d been practicing and experimenting, with Bill’s encouragement. For him, I had put into words the things I’d been feeling for years. Some people sent a clear, strong message, like Alcee. Most people were more off-and-on, like Bud Dearborn. It depended a lot on how strong their emotions were, how clear-headed they were, what the weather was, for all I knew. Some people were murky as hell, and it was almost impossible to tell what they were thinking. I could get a reading of their moods, maybe, but that was all.
    I had admitted that if I was touching people while I tried to read their thoughts, it made the picture clearer—like getting cable, after having only an antenna. And I’d found that if I “sent” a person relaxing images, I could flow through his brain like water.
    There was nothing I wanted less than to flow through Alcee Beck’s mind. But absolutely involuntarily I was getting a full picture of Alcee’s deeply superstitious reaction to finding out there was a vampire working at Merlotte’s, his revulsion on discovering I was the woman he’d heard about who was dating a vampire, his deep conviction that the openly gay Lafayette had been a disgrace to the black community. Alcee figured someone must have it in for Andy Bellefleur, to have parked a gay black man’s carcass in Andy’s car. Alcee was wondering if Lafayette had had AIDS, if the virus could have seeped into Andy’s car seat somehow and survived there. He’d sell the car, if it were his.
    If I’d touched Alcee, I would have known his phone number and his wife’s bra size.
    Bud Dearborn was looking at me funny. “Did you say something?” I asked.
    “Yeah. I was wondering if you had seen Lafayette in here during the evening. Did he come in to have a drink?”
    “I never saw him here.” Come to think of it, I’d never seen Lafayette have a drink. For the first time, I realized that though the lunch crowd was mixed, the night bar patrons were almost exclusively white.
    “Where did he spend his social time?”
    “I have no idea.” All Lafayette’s stories were told with the names changed to protect the innocent. Well, actually, the guilty.
    “When did you see him last?”
    “Dead, in the car.”
    Bud shook his head in exasperation. “Alive, Sookie.”
    “Hmmm. I guess . . . three days ago. He was still here when I got here to work my shift, and we said hello to each other. Oh, he told me about a party he’d been to.” I tried to recall his exact words. “He said he’d been to a house where there were all kinds of sex hijinks going on.”
    The two men gaped at me.
    “Well, that’s what he said! I don’t know how much truth was in it.” I could just see Lafayette’s face as he’d told me about it, the coy way he kept putting his finger across his lips to indicate he wasn’t telling me any names or places.
    “Didn’t you think someone should know about that?” Bud Dearborn looked stunned.
    “It was a private party. Why should I tell anyone about it?”
    But that kind of party shouldn’t happen in their parish. Both men were glaring at me. Through compressed lips, Bud said, “Did Lafayette tell you anything about drugs being used at this get-together?”
    “No, I don’t remember anything like that.”
    “Was this party at the home of someone white, or someone black?”
    “White,” I said, and then wished I’d pled ignorance. But Lafayette had been really impressed by the home—though not because it was large or fancy. Why had he been so impressed? I wasn’t too sure what would constitute impressive for Lafayette, who had grown up poor and stayed that way, but I was sure he’d been talking about the home of someone white, because he’d said, “All the pictures on the walls, they all white as lilies and smiling like alligators.” I didn’t offer that