Lost Light

in a long time and I was suddenly shocked by the realization of how fast time could slip between two people. Though we talked every year on birthdays and Christmas, it had been almost three years since I had actually seen her, touched her, been with her. And immediately it was intoxicating and depressing at the same time. For I had to go. This would be quicker than any of those birthday calls we made each year.
    “Your hair’s different,” I said. “It looks good.”
    It was the shortest I had ever seen it, cut cleanly at the midpoint of her neck. But it wasn’t a false compliment. She looked good. But then again she would have looked good to me with hair to her ankles or even shorter than mine.
    She turned from me to check traffic over her left shoulder. I could see the nape of her neck. She pulled into the through lane and we headed out. As she drove she reached up and held her finger on the button that closed the sunroof.
    “Thank you, Harry. You don’t look that different. But you still look good.”
    I thanked her and tried not to smile too much as I got my wallet out.
    “So,” she said, “what’s this big mystery that you couldn’t tell me about on the phone?”
    “No mystery. I just want some people to think I’m in Las Vegas.”
    “You are in Las Vegas.”
    “But not for long. As soon as I pick up the car I’m heading back.”
    Eleanor nodded like she understood. I pulled my ATM and American Express cards out of my wallet. I kept my Visa card for the car rental and anything else that might come up.
    “I want you to take these cards and use them over the next couple of days. The ATM code is oh-six-thirteen. Should be easy enough to remember.”
    It had been our wedding day.
    “Funny,” she said. “You know, this year it falls on a Friday. I checked. That’s bad luck, Harry.”
    Friday the thirteenth somehow seemed appropriate. For a moment I wondered what it meant that she was checking on when future anniversaries of a failed marriage landed on the calendar. I dropped it and came back to the present.
    “So just use them over the next few days. You know, go have dinner or something. If I were here I’d probably buy you a present for letting me stay with you. So go to the ATM and get some money and buy something you like. The AmEx still has my full name on it. You shouldn’t have a problem.”
    Most people don’t know what gender my given name Hieronymus is. When we had been married Eleanor regularly used my credit cards without a problem. The only difficulty that would arise now would occur if an ID was requested at point of purchase. This rarely happens in restaurants anywhere and especially not in Las Vegas, a place that takes your money first and asks questions later.
    I handed her the cards but she didn’t take them.
    “Harry, what is this? What’s going on with you?”
    “I told you. I want some people to think I am over here in Vegas.”
    “And these are people who can monitor credit-card purchases and ATM usage?”
    “If they want to. I don’t know if they will. This is just a pre-”
    “Then you’re talking about the cops or the bureau. Which is it?”
    I laughed quietly.
    “Well, it might be both. But as far as I know it’s the bureau that’s most interested.”
    “Oh, Harry…”
    She said it with a here-we-go-again tone in her voice. I thought about telling her that it involved Marty Gessler but decided I shouldn’t involve her any further than I already had.
    “Look, it’s no big deal. I’m just working on one of my old cases and it’s got an agent’s nose out of joint. I want him to think he scared me off. For just a few days. Okay, Eleanor? Can you do this, please?”
    I held the cards out again. After a long moment she reached up and took them without a word. We were on an airport road where all the rent-a-car complexes were lined up in a row. I wanted to say something else. Something about us and about how I wanted to come back over when all of this nastiness was finished. If she wanted me to. But she pulled into the Avis lot and put her window down to tell a security man that she was just there to drop me off.
    The interruption ruined the flow of the conversation, if it even was a conversation. I lost my momentum and dropped any thought of saying anything further about us.
    She pulled up to the Avis pickup office and it was time for me to get out. But I didn’t. I sat there and looked at her until she finally turned and looked at me.
    “Thank you