Love is Always Write Anthology Bonus Volume

about Chinese because I was trying to get you to come to dinner tonight to meet my mom and eat her sweet and sour chicken."
    He blinked at me a long moment. "Three days," he said. "We didn't—"
    "The one time I tried to go out and get us burgers, instead of coming with me you hid my clothes! Under your ass! How was I supposed to know that was a test and not an invitation?"
    Alan grinned then shook his head and shook the smile away. He took a puff of the cigarette, threw it down and stepped on it while he exhaled smoke. Then he stepped closer to the fence.
    "Lukas…" He stared at me and shook his head again. "Lukas, you've lost your mind."
    "No," I said. "I've found it."
    "You have your whole fucking life planned. You'll hate me for fucking it up."
    "You are my plan now. Cherishing you is the plan."
    " Why? " His eyes searched my face, the way he'd stared at me when I wouldn't leave him drunk and depressed. The way he'd stared when I tried to explain that I loved him. He really didn't understand, and I didn't know how to make him.
    "Because I love you," I told him. "I want to marry you." He gasped and his eyes went wide. "My plan is to cherish you for the rest of my life if you'll let me and if you won't, to be patient and work hard and earn your trust and your love and then marry you."
    "…and we're back to you've lost your mind ," he breathed.
    "Alan," I moved my hands on the fence, wishing I could touch him. If he went from confused to angry, he'd turn and walk away and— the bus let out a hiss of air brakes, a reminder that I was running out of time, and I jumped. Alan grabbed my hands.
    "Be careful!" he snapped. I wrapped my fingers through his, through the fence. His hands were cold. The idiot wasn't even wearing a jacket. He had his messenger bag slung on his shoulder, but not a damn jacket. I had the trench on my arm but I couldn't give it to him.
    "Alan…" My heart was thudding in my ears. Only Alan could do that to me. "Alan, you trusted me on belay fifty feet up a cliff. You trusted me when you were sinking. Why won't you trust me now?"
    "Because there is no fucking way—"
    " Why ?" I demanded.
    "I'm…" He shook his head. "I'm a fucking fuck-up, Lukas! I'm a crazy bitch who can't—"
    "Clinical depression is not insanity by any definition," I told him. "You're not crazy. And you're not a fuck-up. How many people would work as hard as you did to get into the college you wanted?"
    "And I'm throwing it all away! One fucking semester and I'm running home— not even home, they don't fucking want me there, they—"
    " Fuck them ," I said with all my heart and soul.
    "You're such an idiot!" He shook the fence, shook me, but he didn't let go and neither did I. "Look at you! Your mom is at your house and you're chasing me halfway across the state. I'll fuck up your life and you'll hate me and—"
    "I got the week off work. Mom wants to meet you. You haven't fucked up anything but dinner plans that you never agreed to." I squeezed his fingers, leaned closer to the fence. "Alan, you can be yourself with me. I can handle you ."
    He shivered. "No fair being so fucking sexy," he breathed.
    "All's fair in love and war," I said. "I will win you."
    He leaned closer, searching my face again. " Why? "
    "Alan, when Lilia brought Twiggy home, she lived the first two weeks in a closet," I told him. "I'd take her out morning and night with the others and throw the Frisbee, but she'd dart back to the house. Then one morning she took off like a freight train. Like she discovered all in an instant the dog she was meant to be. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Until I met you." I stroked his fingers as best I could without letting go. "I— want to be there, Alan. When you leave all the stupid shit you've been put through behind you and learn to run— my God, Alan, I want to see you run."
    He let out a breath, gasped air in as I went on.
    "You act like I'm perfect, but I'm not, Alan. If I were even close, I wouldn't be chasing you across the state because I'd have been paying attention in the first place. I can be such an idiot sometimes. And I'm really good at getting stuck in my ways." I took a deep breath. "Alan, I need you. To shake me up. To tell me I'm talking in clichés. To sacrifice my virginity."
    He snorted.
    "Alan," I carefully unwrapped one hand from his and reached into my pocket, "will you marry me?"
    "Fucking Batman!" he exclaimed as I opened the jewelry box. "How did you do that?"
    "Very