Love is Always Write Anthology Bonus Volume

my card, handsome. Sorry, I didn't expect it to break. It was sort of an accident."
    "Please don't get arrested," I said through the door.
    "Not a chance," she said, talking softly again. "I've got boobs and I know how to use them. Also, I have people to kill. At least this way Alan won't object."
    "I'd like to help," I said.
    "Earn it," she said. "And listen." She tapped the door. "This is important. You saw what I did when I calmed him down? Grandma Logan had a cockatoo. He was brilliant and beautiful, but sometimes he was just too dazzling even for himself so she'd help him settle a bit. Alan is very like that bird. Covering his eyes calms him— he'll try to do it himself but it doesn't work as well. Scare him and he'll fly, even when he shouldn't. That's why we're all here in lovely Danbury— and it's what killed Grandma's bird, so be more careful, goddamnit. And give him the attention and adoration he deserves— he'll be glorious."
    "That's the plan," I told her. "Adoration. Glorious."
    "Watch his hair," she said. "The bright colors wash out fast. If his hair is a blondish-grey, it's bleached but the dye washed out and he hasn't re-dyed it. That's don't-take-your-eyes-off-him time."
    Crap. I wondered how close things had been, last Friday when I had to talk to Alan and Kelly Lesniewski got there first. If I hadn't talked to Lilia the night before, if I hadn't been two minutes behind Kelly— people thought as long as someone was taking their pills, everything was fine. People thought wrong.
    "When you can afford a real honeymoon," Bea was saying, "consider taking him to Disneyworld. We were supposed to go when he was six but Dad caught him in my Cinderella tiara and we went to Gettysburg instead."
    "For the manly men bravely killing each other tour?" God, there were a lot of pieces to a formal suit.
    "That's the one. Don't get me wrong— I have a degree in American history and I'd love to find a reenactment with a role for a six-foot blonde girl— but shit."
    "Some women fought as men in the Civil War."
    "These boobs hide for no man."
    I opened the door. She looked me up and down and nodded. "Now there's a treat to make my baby bird smile. Except— no, the bow tie is not working. Hey, handsome?" she called over her shoulder. A young salesman approached cautiously and she smiled at him, pressing her arms to her sides so her breasts lifted. "Be a darling and go fetch me a cravat or three, won't you?"
    He blushed and bolted. I shook my head and she winked at me.
    We left the store with the suit and a casual change of clothes and a sweater to replace the flannel layer I'd been wearing. I tried to pay, but Bea wrapped a hand around mine, holding it closed around my wallet, while she paid, and I didn't care to turn it into a match I'd probably lose. She let me go when her credit card and the receipt were safely tucked in her tiny purse.
    "Need anything else?" she asked. "Condoms? Lube?"
    "I think I prefer my brother's ew, don't want to know reaction," I said as I blushed.
    Bea snickered a lot like Alan then pointed at a jewelry store. "Do you have the rings, or is the shiny on his hand all he gets?"
    "I have the rings," I said, but I headed for the store anyway and asked the saleslady if they had tiaras. Bea clapped my shoulder with a grin then took over, choosing the tiara and paying for it though I tried harder this time.
    "My present," she said. "Back off."
    When I'd told Alan we could be married by sunset, I'd exaggerated by at least two hours. The light was fading as I drove Bea to the chapel where she promised I'd find my fiancé. But first she hit the caretaker up for a private room and shoved me in it to get back into my suit. When I came out she grinned and led me into the chapel.
    Alan looked… amazing. He wore a jewel-blue suit that set him off, with matching blue streaks in his still-black hair. Bea had given him the tiara, but it didn't outshine his smile when he saw me. I went to him and took his hand and kissed it and told him he looked amazing.
    "You look like a prince," he murmured. Around us the ladies muttered and sighed, but I stood with Alan in our own little world of joy and I barely noticed them. "And this," he waved a hand at the chapel around us, "Lukas, how did you do this?"
    "I didn't build it." The chapel overlooked a lake, and the whole front of it except for the cross was glass. The lights were dim and the moon was bright, so we could see the view. "I would have, but I didn't have