Love is Always Write Anthology Bonus Volume

of you. But then they stopped."
    "Things got a little busy," Daniel said sarcastically, his eyes caught by that stack of white. He twisted free of Jacob's grip and locked his hands behind his back.
    "That never stopped you before. I've been thinking about it a lot. I think you need to draw. Maybe not the war. But something. It's like there's stuff inside you trying to come out. And if you don't let it out it's poisoning you. It keeps getting worse. Back on the Gageway you grabbed a pencil every chance you got and put stuff on paper. I just thought maybe it would help."
    Daniel stared at the slant board and said nothing. He felt frozen, encased in ice.
    "Okay, maybe it was a dumb idea. I was trying to help. I wish I could help. Just don't get mad at me."
    And that little quiver in Jacob's voice cracked the ice. Daniel turned to him. Jacob's eyes were bright with unshed tears. "Oh, damn." Daniel wrapped his arms around Jacob. "You do help, Trip. Honestly you do. I'd probably be dead without you." He kissed Jacob's mouth roughly. Then he kissed him again, wetter and harder. How many days since they'd made love? Between him coming in late and Jacob getting up early it had been too many. But there was something even more urgent. Because Jacob must be exhausted, and Daniel's hands were reaching out for something different.
    He stepped back. "I'll try. You may be right. After all, you're so damned smart." He tried to give that a sarcastic twist but it just came out straight. "You should get back to bed and maybe we should move the desk to the other room."
    "No. Let's not. Unless my snoring will bother you."
    "You don't snore. Much."
    "Then stay here. I don't mind the light. You know I can sleep through anything. I like having you close by."
    "Okay. You sleep." He took a long rough breath. "I'll scribble. At this point it can hardly do any harm."
    Jacob kissed his cheek, and then went and crawled into bed. Daniel moved slowly to the desk. He tilted the lamp to get a more even light on the pages. Then he put all but one sheet on the floor and centered that one on the slant board. Jacob had stuck some straight pins in the side of the board. Daniel pinned the sheet of paper neat and square to the surface. Then removed the pins and set it at an angle. He sat down and slid the chair in close. Slid it back a couple of inches.
    From the bed, Jacob's breathing was too silent for sleep, but he didn't move or speak. Daniel picked up a pen. Set it down and picked up a pencil. Coward. What are you waiting for?
    His hands trembled and he hesitated, holding his breath. He felt like some kind of drug fiend, ready to fall back into his addiction. Needing this so badly, but so scared of what might come out if he let himself start. If he let those images behind his closed lids come out through his hands. He set the tip of the pencil to the paper.
    He didn't have to draw the war. Maybe he could stay with something easy. No sinking ships or dead Marines. He smoothed the paper, feeling a slight roughness of the board underneath. He'd have to get a flatter one. Then he sneered at himself, remembering having to draw on water-wrinkled paper held in the palm of his hand. He was getting awfully fussy all of a sudden.
    Without volition, the pencil tip moved. Daniel watched, feeling like an observer as the drawing took shape under his hand. It was Jacob, a young Jacob leaning on the rail of a ship, that bright look of discovery on his face as the continent of Australia came into view. The pencil limned the way his hair blew off his face and caught the bright look in his eyes.
    On the bed behind Daniel, under the soft scritch of graphite on paper, the sound of Jacob's breathing slowed down into sleep.
    ****

CHAPTER 12
    March 1947
    Jacob cautiously pushed open the apartment door, wondering why it was ajar. That door stood between their refuge and the world. It was always shut, usually locked. He looked more closely at the handle. A tiny red smear of what might be blood made his breath catch.
    "Daniel?" He closed the door behind him, listening. There was water running in the bathroom. Jacob dropped his hat on the couch and headed that way. "Daniel?"
    There was a muffled "Hmph?" from the bathroom. At least Daniel didn't sound panicked. Jacob looked in.
    Daniel had his face in the sink, running water across his cheeks. At Jacob's touch on his back he looked up and grimaced. Jacob stared. A long thin laceration, maybe more like a deep scratch, ran down