Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 2

accommodation."
    Jules was about to correct her when Mark said, "Thanks, that would be wonderful."
    They didn't spend a lot of time together because one of them was with Nicole while the other wasn't, but it meant that Jules could take a nap upstairs or talk to his staff on the phone without leaving her alone. And that first night, it was good to know that Mark was near enough to be fetched in a moment if anything changed.
    Jules spent another restless night, drifting in and out of sleep as one child or another woke and cried. Nicole slept right through, but in the morning she seemed no better. Her temperature was up by another 0.2 of a degree. Jules couldn't get the nurses to tell him whether this meant anything or not, nor the doctor, when she came round. They were still frighteningly non-committal.
    On Monday morning, after some hesitation, Mark had gone to work. He called Jules three times, and at the end of the day he picked up a few things from the place where he was living and came back to the hospital.
    They ate dinner together in the hospital café. "The food's not up to your standards," Mark said.
    Jules shrugged. "It's not bad for an institution. How is the food in this chain that you work for?"
    "Like this. Cheap but not unhealthy."
    "You've lost some weight."
    "That's being away from your cooking. No, seriously, I've been going to a gym." Mark's cheeks went pink.
    "You, in a gym? Does that mean there's somebody—" Jules stopped. He had almost said 'somebody else'.
    "I just thought since I was changing so much in my life, I could work on fitness too."
    They ate for a moment in silence. Then Mark said, "How's my replacement doing?"
    "There is no replacement. There is someone from the agency, but they change."
    "Isn't that rather inconvenient?"
    "Very inconvenient."
    "So why don't you get somebody permanent?"
    "Because there are so many problems with all of them," Jules said, putting down his fork. "To find someone who can please the clients and manage the staff and explain to me the accounts and also share an office with a baby— I interviewed many people, and I decided it's not possible. Nobody can replace you. Nobody can replace you in the dining room, nobody can replace you in the office, nobody can replace you with the staff, nobody can replace you with Nicole, nobody can replace you in my life."
    Mark stared. "I was never in your life. Not if you mean what I think you mean."
    "All the same, nobody can replace you there. Nor in my bed. There is a place that nobody else fits."
    The people at the next table had looked round at the word 'bed' and Mark was blushing. "Maybe this isn't the time—"
    "That's true," Jules said, "but life is short. You see that, in a hospital." His heart was thumping but he took up his fork and began eating as if nothing had been said.
    They didn't refer to the conversation again, but it didn't make Mark more distant, as Jules had feared. There was no more coldness between them now. They slipped back into the mutually supportive, impersonal relationship that had worked so well for so long at the restaurant.
    ****
    By Tuesday night Nicole's temperature was down a little and she didn't seem to be in so much pain. Mark offered to sleep on the ward and let Jules have the quiet bed upstairs. Jules's thoughts were full of fears (what if something happened and he couldn't get there in time?) but he was exhausted. A night away from the ward was a gift, and he accepted it.
    He let himself into the room expecting it to be impersonal and it was, in a way, but Mark's things were everywhere, his bathrobe on the back of the door, his suit in the wardrobe. When Jules stretched out under the quilt he thought he could smell Mark on the pillow. He was immediately aroused for the first time since he had come to the hospital. He imagined Mark's body beside him, imagined taking him quickly and cleanly, and in less than a minute he was spurting onto the sheets.
    When he woke, daylight was showing around the edge of the window blind. He showered and went down to the ward.
    He'd slept later than he intended but Mark was still there. "Won't you be late for work?" Jules said. "You should have woken me."
    "I've taken the morning off. The nurse said the results of the cultures are due."
    "It must be good news," Jules said. "Look how much better she is."
    Mark agreed, but the possibility of brain damage hovered unspoken like a ghost between them.
    They were called to the empty day room to see the doctor