Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 6

something in college that would excite me.
    I ended up at San Jose State, a few hours from home. Class-wise, I was taking general courses and bored out of my mind. I did enjoy the social life of college though, especially the hot guys. Lance and I had been together most of high school, and we liked each other, but he was going to a school on the east coast, so we'd parted ways once we headed off to college.
    Friday and Saturday nights were my favorite times of the week. There was a gay bar off campus called JJ's, which I could sneak into even though I was underage. I think the bouncer/doorman secretly had a crush on me. Yeah, I had a lot of fun that semester, and I learned a lot. I got straight A's in the subjects of cocksucking, hand jobs, rimming and fucking.
    As for my classes... I really tried. I tried to keep my mind focused in class, and tried to take good notes. I read what I was supposed to. Or, most of what I was supposed to. I'd always been an A-B student in high school, but my first semester college grades were straight C's. When I went home for the Christmas break, Dad was not happy and we argued about college. I wanted to try some time off, but he refused. There was lots of the typical "you just need to apply yourself, son," and "you're better than this." He wouldn't listen to anything I had to say on the matter.
    So, second semester found me back at college and struggling through more classes I didn't really care about. About a month into the semester, everything came crashing down with one phone call.
    I was looking forward to a night at JJ's and was just walking in the door of the place when my phone rang. It was Bobby. He was out of college now and had moved up to San Franciso for his job.
    "Hey man, listen, this isn't a good time, I'm–"
    "Adam you've got to get home. I'm headed out the door right now, but you're closer, you'll get there quicker."
    "Now? But it's–"
    "Mom just called, she's a mess. Dad just collapsed, they think it's a heart attack. It's bad, Adam."
    I felt an icy chill ripple through my bones. I took off at a run for my car and I didn't even bother to stop at the dorm for anything.
    In the end, neither one of us made it home in time. He'd had a sudden massive heart attack and there was just nothing the paramedics could do to bring him back.
    My Dad, my big, tough, strong Dad was gone. I was in a numb state of shock, we all were. But Bobby and I didn't really have time to deal with our own grief. We both had to be strong for Mom. Bobby took over handling a lot of the funeral details, and trying to take care of her. And I basically just filled in with whatever needed to be done. He would dispatch me to drop something off to the funeral home or stop by the florists to pick up the flowers or run out for food to make sure Mom was eating.
    The day of the funeral was probably one of the worst days of my life. Chase had been drafted out of college to play football for the Patriots, so he was living in Boston, but he had still flown all the way home for the funeral. His flight was late getting in, so the first I saw him was at the funeral. He caught my eye and he smiled and lifted his hand in a discreet wave as he took his seat. I was already sitting up front with Mom so I couldn't go talk to him. I gave him a smile back though. Seeing him settled me somehow. Like things were back to normal, as weird as that sounds. I mean, things would never be "normal" again, with Dad not here, but Chase was so much a part of our family's lives it just wouldn't have felt right without him here. I wished I could invite him to come up and sit in the front with us, but the minister was stepping up to the pulpit to start the service.
    The funeral was nice, but I was itching for it to be over, itching to get up and run, and just be anywhere but here, watching my father be lowered into the ground. There were a lot of Dad's old Marine buddies there to pay their respects and he was given full military honors— the 21-gun salute and Taps and the whole nine yards. I watched the crisp, precise moves of the Marines in their dress uniforms as they carefully folded the flag that had lain on his coffin and then presented it to Mom with their sincerest condolences. She quietly accepted it from them and then shed her tears into Bobby's shoulder.
    Afterward, everyone came back to the house for food. There were so many friends and family that we had to greet and talk to, I still didn't get a chance to talk to Chase.