Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 6

be honest? To be honorable and be proud of who you are? There is nothing wrong with you and no reason to be ashamed of who you are, you know that don't you? Adam?"
    I shook my head yes.
    "Okay then. You need to step up and be a man about this. Be the man I know you are. First thing, you tell your mother. Next you go see this Tiffany girl and tell her the truth— in person. And you stop lying to your friends."
    "But..."
    "No buts. I know young kids can be cruel. I'm not saying you have to hold a parade and tell the whole school. But your friends are your friends. If they can't accept you for who you are, then they don't sound like real friends to me. Understand?"
    "Yes, sir."
    "Okay." His tone sounded dismissive and I couldn't wait to get out of there. I stood up, but his voice stopped me again.
    "Adam? You and... Lance. You know that all we talked about before still applies, right? You boys are... being careful, right?"
    Oh my God. He didn't just say that! I remember Dad sitting me down and having "the talk" with me years ago when they started sex ed. in school. One of those conversations was enough. Besides Lance and I hadn't even gotten to real sex yet.
    My face felt like it was on fire, but I knew he expected a response. "Um, yeah." Dad just nodded and a clear look of relief crossed his face.
    I turned, thinking I was finally free.
    "Adam?"
    He had stood up and was only inches from me. Before I realized it, he reached out and put his arms around me. Dad was never very physically demonstrative with Bobby or I, so there was a bit of awkwardness between both of us and his arms were a bit stiff at first.
    "I love you, son." His voice was a bit rough, and I knew he was having trouble trying to hold back his emotion. I put my arms around him and felt all the worry and fear in my body leave, as my body sagged against his. His arms tightened around me in response, and we just stood there for a few minutes. The person I'd feared the most to know I was gay didn't care. He still loved me. That was the single most important moment my father ever gave me and I have regretted every day since then, that I never got to tell him how much that meant to me.
    Dad cleared his throat as we both stiffly pulled away and then he turned to go back to his newspaper on the couch and I went upstairs.
    I told Mom when she got home. She cried, but she hugged me and echoed a lot of what Dad had said— she told me how proud she was of me for telling her and that she would always love me no matter what.
    It had been such an emotionally exhausting day, the last thing I wanted to do was go talk to Tiffany that night, but I finally decided it would be better to just get it all over with at once. She didn't believe me at first, then burst into tears. She tried to tell me it didn't matter, that we could still go out, but I told her that wasn't possible. Eventually, she calmed down, but she told me I'd broken her heart. I felt like a heel, but I had to admit that once her front door had closed behind me and I was alone, I felt wonderful. I knew I'd been carrying this burden but hadn't realized how truly heavy it was until I left her house. I felt a lightness, a giddiness. I was finally free. I was gay and I didn't have to pretend anymore.
    When I got home my brother called me. Mom had thankfully saved me from the horror of telling him by telling him for me. I was kind of surprised he even cared enough to call.
    "Dude, I just talked to Mom, like, what the fuck? Dudes? Really?"
    I sighed and rolled my eyes at my moron brother. "Yes, Bobby, I like dudes. You got a problem with that? 'Cause I'm really tired right now and I really don't give a shit what you think."
    There was silence on the other end before he finally spoke again, his voice softer.
    "Nah man, it's cool, it's cool. I mean, I don't get it, but whatever, you know. I still love ya' bro." I think my jaw literally hit the floor. I don't think— at that point anyway, in our young lives— we had ever said I love you to each other. The day was just getting freakier and freakier.
    "Um... thanks, man."
    "So, how did Dad take it? I mean, you're still in one piece right?" His voice didn't have humor in it, so I knew he was a little concerned, much like I had been, over Dad's reaction.
    "Yes, but oh my God, you have no idea!" I gave him a brief overview of what had happened and the talk with Dad. He sounded a little shocked too, that Dad took it so well.
    The next day blindsided me a little though.