Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 6

must be someone really embarrassing. Was it someone really nerdy? An actor? Rock star?"
    Fuck. I knew I had gotten myself into this situation by starting the ragging with the Calvin Klein model thing, but I never thought about him asking me about mine. How in the hell was I supposed to tell him it was him without looking like a complete loser or stalker?
    "Come on Adam, who was it?" He was trying to tickle my ribs to get me to speak. He was not going to let this go, so I might as well just get it over with.
    "Mif whs yuf." My head was still hidden against his stomach so it didn't exactly come out clear.
    "What? I didn't catch that?"
    I sighed and lifted my head up looking him dead in the eye. "It was you."
    His smile froze on his face.
    "The summer I was thirteen. The first time you came over that summer you were horsing around with Bobby, washing Dad's car and your shirt got plastered to your skin. I was watching from the living room window and I got the biggest boner I'd ever had."
    I watched his face as he tried to process the information. "That was the reason I spent so much time in my room alone that summer, it was too hard to be around you and I was afraid that someone— you in particular— would notice."
    "Shit, Adam. I had no clue." He was looking a little freaked out, so I decided to try and laugh it off and get his mind off of it.
    "Chase, I was thirteen for Christ's sake. My dick was going to pop for any hot guy that would have showed up in my driveway, don't freak out, man, please. I got over it, I moved on."
    His eyes narrowed as he looked at me slyly. "So... now you're saying I wasn't anything special, I could have been replaced with any piece of beefcake?" His mouth was twitching up at the corners. I groaned and hid my head again, as he started to chuckle.
    "Can we just forget we even had this conversation?" He never answered me and I had to look back up at him. He was smiling but I could tell there was still something churning in his mind and I was uneasy.
    ****
    The next morning I woke to him shaking me. I smiled as I opened my eyes, high hopes for just what he was waking me for. Except that I was in the bed alone and he was already up and dressed.
    "Come on Adam, we need to get on the road to get you back to San Diego in time to get back to the base." His voice was tender and quiet but that was all I got. No good morning kiss, no touching, nothing to indicate what had happened between us last night. In the shower my mind was racing trying to figure out what was up. Did he change his mind in the light of a new day? I mean, for me, last night was pretty fucking fantastic. I'd never had sex feel like that before. He seemed to feel the same way afterward. What happened? Was he regretting it? Was this going to be it for us?
    I kept holding back, waiting to see if he would say anything, but he never did. We hit the road and he took the first driving shift. After a few hours of very little conversation the motion of the car and the night of little sleep started to get to me and I apparently fell asleep.
    I had a sense of déjà vu when once again, Chase was shaking me awake, except this time we were in his driveway back in San Diego. I rubbed my eyes and was just reaching for the door handle. His hand darted out and wrapped around my wrist.
    "Adam. What happens now?"
    "What do you mean?"
    "I mean where were you expecting us to go now? Was last night just a chance to act out some fantasy leftover from when you were thirteen?"
    "What? Jesus, Chase. I knew you were freaked out by that, I shouldn't have even told you. Fuck! Last night had nothing to do with back then, what the hell kind of person do you take me for?" My blood was starting to boil and my voice was loud.
    He closed his eyes and grimaced. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. But I still need to know where we're going from here."
    "Well, I think maybe you need to answer that one, because you're the one that's been all pissy and cold today. Damn, we fucked our brains out last night and today you're acting like you barely can tolerate me." I could see the pain in his face and I knew I was being overly harsh but dammit I was pissed off too.
    "Because you're all about easy sex and one-nighters and I'm afraid that's all you think this is. One incredible night? Or friends-with-benefits casual sex whenever you feel like it? I've told you, I need more. I'm looking for more, I want someone special. And I think that someone is you Adam. But I'm not going to do the