Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 6

besides, if you knew what happened why are you asking me?"
    "Not really, all I heard is you beat the hell out of the defendant you were supposed to represent."
    "I didn't hit him."
    "Dad said that the only reason the man didn't file charges is because he didn't want more press. Come on, tell me what got into you?"
    "From the start, I pleaded to our Excellency not to include me in the defense team, but he insisted that I do, at least, the depositions."
    "And?"
    "While recording some of the testimonies, I have no doubt the plaintiff is telling the truth. The priest we've been ordered to represent is guilty, and I can't defend that man. Besides, I'm sure the jury will perceive the same I did."
    Raul stirred both arms in the air.
    "Jesus, Esteban, you might be a lawyer and a Jesuit priest, but you are also the most naive person I've met in my whole life. Even Lupe would guess it."
    "Leave Sister Lupe alone. Guess what?"
    "There has been a fucking conspiracy going on for centuries, so there was a cover up. You are part of a team that must defend the church's money. That's the bottom line, idiot. Money!"
    "I know that. It was the reason I would have rather not been part of the team."
    "The archbishop gave Dad the choice to talk to you first, before they exile you somewhere out of the spotlight. I didn't tell Dad that you want me to pick you up. So what should I say to him now?"
    Esteban thought for a few seconds, and shrugged.
    "There are two cardinals, four bishops and a myriad of priests and nuns in our genealogical tree. Tell Dad, and the whole family, that I won't be their pope."
    "Esteban, all you have to do is to apologize."
    "I'm not doing it either."
    "What's wrong with you man? Wait a second did anybody mess with you too?"
    "No, Raul. Sometimes I feel survival guilt, nobody would dare to mess with a Hidalgo, you know that, but I met a couple of kids back in the seminary that were abused. The plaintiff reminded me of them, and later during a meeting with the defendant, this despicable person compares himself to me, so I lost it."
    "Damn it! He is really sick, eh?"
    "How could he dare to compare himself to me? Next thing I knew is I cleaned the table with him. I didn't hit him, but I pulled him over to my side along with the glasses of water, paper and everything else."
    "Fuck, Esteban. I wish I had been there."
    "No, you wouldn't. If the other counselors wouldn't have stopped me, I'd have beaten him. Do you see now, why I don't want our Eminence getting involved in this? I'm responsible for my own actions."
    During his friend's convalescence, Esteban had long conversations with Mauricio, and recognized what was really missing from his life, and the longing increased. He'd still controlled it; if there was something he had in spades, it was strong will, but when that bastard tried to compare himself to him, he lost his patience.
    "Raul, I know discipline, and how hard it is to resist temptation, so being compared to someone who knows nothing of these things, and didn't have any qualms in abusing a minor, made my blood boil."
    "Oh, man, now I understand your rage. So, are you finally leaving the church, marrying some nice girl and having kids?"
    "Never."
    "Never to which part?"
    "I'm not getting married to anybody or having children. You have enough progeny. Why do you keep insisting on that?"
    "Because, I'm afraid that you will leave the church and go all gay and everybody will believe I'm the same."
    "Oh, selfish as usual, aren't we? Don't worry, as long as Dad is alive, I will never come out. Besides, I'm a man of God. I probably will transition into the Episcopal Church."
    "Those clergy can get married."
    "What an obsession with marriage you have, Raul. For someone who recently got divorced that's pretty weird."
    "I'm tired of seeing you lonely with only women like Lupe around you."
    "Raul. Which part of gay didn't you get?"
    Esteban didn't wait for an answer that would never come. Raul seemed speechless for a few long seconds. Esteban knew that his brother didn't like it when he referred to his unwanted homosexuality, because wanted or not, it was part of him; a part that shamed Esteban as much as it shamed the members of his family who knew about it.
    "Esteban, are you ready?"
    "Yeah, I only need to make a quick phone call and we can leave."
    "Okay. Do you want me to take anything to the car while you change?"
    "Yes, please take those boxes, I'll be right out."
    CHAPTER 2
    Blind to the beauty of the early