Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 6

are not."
    Esteban sat on the bed. "Kissing?"
    "Yes, old fashioned French kissing. When I heard a silence I went to see if they had knocked each other out, but no, Raul got Diego against the wall, in a very erotic pose."
    "How is that possible, I mean, those two hate one another."
    "How? I have a very good idea, allow me to demonstrate."
    Javier pulled him until Esteban stood, pushed him against the nearest wall, and catching him off guard covered Esteban's mouth with his own. Unlike the last time they kissed, Esteban took the lead and searched for Javier's tongue.
    Esteban ended the kiss and said, "We're not supposed to do this, remember?"
    "If those two are making out downstairs, why couldn't we?"
    "They are about the same age."
    "Esteban stop using that stupid excuse to avoid me. Tell me the truth, it's the least you owe me."
    He circled Javier and stood in front of the dresser, where he smacked both fists on and leant forward, burying his head into his hands. Javier stood next to him.
    "What is wrong with you?" Javier asked with concern.
    "Everything. I tried to tell my father that I want to be out. He knows I'm gay, but he also knows I control my impulses. I went to see him and I talked, and talked, and at the end, I didn't say anything. Damn it! I'm a coward. If I can't tell him, there is no way I'll ever tell anybody else that I want to share my life with another man. I simply cannot do it."
    Javier stood behind him and embraced him, leaning his head on his back.
    "Is it because of that you've been rejecting me? It's okay, Esteban. I understand."
    Slowly Esteban faced him while shaking his head.
    "It's not fair. If you are with me, we will never be able to be out. We'll be living in a closet, and this isn't fair for you." Esteban stared at Javier's eyes, before finishing, "I can't ask you to continue hiding for anybody's benefit. I know what Mauricio did to you."
    Javier felt touched by Esteban's consideration, but if that was the only thing standing between them, it didn't really matter.
    "Esteban, I know life isn't fair, that was the first lesson I learned." Javier leaned forward and pressed his face to Esteban's shoulder, feeling the embrace he craved for weeks.
    "I know it is impossible for you to be out. After spending time with your family, I understand your concern."
    "Are you sure?"
    "Yes. If I have to choose between having you in secret, and not having you at all, the choice is clear."
    Right then they heard steps going down, the front door closing and a car starting. They peeked out the windows; it was Raul's car.
    Javier said, "I'll be right back, I'm going to check to see if Diego is okay."
    He went downstairs and found Diego sitting on a sofa wrapped in a blanket nursing a cup of tea. The black eyes avoided Javier when he said, "I thought you were sleeping."
    "I was, but I heard your voices. I'm sorry for intruding, I simply want to know if you're okay."
    Diego took a sip of tea before answering. "I am just a little embarrassed because I have no idea what you witnessed."
    "Not much, I went upstairs when you guys started kissing against the kitchen wall."
    Javier noticed how Diego's hand quivered as he sipped his tea.
    "Diego, is he forcing you, I mean, he is obviously using you, right?"
    Diego shook his head. "No. We use each other in a way only we know. Don't worry, Javier. When Raul was born, I already knew how to ride a bike."
    "And what does that has to do with anything?"
    "As the Spanish saying goes, the devil knows more because he's older than from being the devil."
    Javier narrowed his eyes, and shook his head. He didn't get the saying, but Diego got him.
    "I left the box of condoms on the kitchen counter, help yourself, I'm going to bed to dream with my own devil."
    Javier opened his mouth to deny his intentions, but Esteban walked right in. Diego looked from one to another and said, "I'm okay. You know better than anyone that Raul doesn't defeat me in a fight."
    Esteban nodded, but asked. "Do you know how serious is this game you're playing, Diego? He would never—"
    Diego raised a hand in a gesture that spoke by itself, "I know. Unlike us, you two have a chance. You need to talk, and it's better if you do it in neutral territory. Good night."
    They both watched Diego going to his room.
    CHAPTER 9
    "Are you sure he's all right?" Esteban questioned Javier.
    "Yes, something tells me they've been playing this game for a while."
    "God! I can't believe Raul never told me about this."
    "Well,