Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 7

mean?"
    Almost lying across Ryan's lap, Xavier smiled at Ryan's continued repetition of his choice. He knew this would stun his lover. "Could it mean anything else?"
    Ryan smacked his shoulder.
    "Ow," Xavier teased.
    "Why didn't you tell me?"
    Xavier shrugged. "You know me – strong and silent."
    "Except when a damn guitar is in your hands, you doofus." Ryan brushed a hand across the back of Xavier's hand with a chuckle. "You're so damn good at expressing your emotions and moods in lyrics, but normal talk with you is like trying to wring water out of stone. It doesn't work." Ryan smacked his shoulder again. "Holy shit, X."
    Capturing Ryan's hand in his, Xavier brought it to his lips to kiss Ryan's knuckles. "You knew I was always better with a song than regular words. Especially after living all this time with me."
    "Along with how you insist on tossing your damn boxers on the floor instead of in the hamper," Ryan teased.
    Xavier laughed.
    "Drives me nuts."
    "Nuts with love for me." Xavier waggled his eyebrows with pure torment.
    Ryan went to smack him again, but Xavier captured his hand again for another kiss. This time on the sensitive palm. His tongue brushed against the calluses Ryan bore from his work. "You're such a doofus."
    "I know." Xavier pressed Ryan's knuckles against his cheek and rubbed them.
    "What made you decide to do this? It's a big damn decision."
    Sighing, Xavier released Ryan's hand and dropped completely on Ryan's lap. He felt Ryan drag gentle fingers through his hair, tugged it away from his face, and soothed him.
    "Tell me, X. I want to know."
    "I wanted to do this since we moved in together. I'm tired of being forced into ridiculous publicity stunts and shots with some random woman I don't give a shit about because my old manager was a homophobe. It was his issue, not mine, and I was tired of paying for his problems. I was tired of the foolish disguises I needed to wear whenever we wanted to go out to dinner or a movie or whatever. I was tired of forcing you to pay for his issues."
    "I didn't care about it as long as we were together. I had you in private, in heart, and I was content."
    Xavier looked up at his lover's face and smiled. "You're too open and kind for your own good sometimes, babe. No one should be forced to live in such a fashion. Not when we have a choice in this world." He shook his head on Ryan's lap. "No, I couldn't do this to us any longer. I wanted us free from those chains."
    "Again, still, this is one hell of a leap for you. To come out and proud to everyone. When were you planning on doing this?"
    "The concert."
    "The concert? The one you're having in two weeks?"
    "Why wait any longer?"
    "Well... I... Shit," Ryan finished.
    Xavier chuckled and sat up. He twirled a finger around a lock of his hair.
    "Uh-oh," Ryan said, tugged Xavier's hand down. "That's your nervous tick. What is it?"
    "I'm uhh... the song you heard me working on is about us."
    Ryan lifted an eyebrow. "Umm. All your songs are about us, you doofus. What makes this one different? Not that I'm complaining. I love being your muse."
    "Truly about us, I was going to sing it there."
    "A public way to declare your love and status."
    "There's no other decent way to do it. I won't hide behind a newspaper or magazine article while it breaks. I prefer to be upfront and in person if the shit hits the fan. The announcement at the concert will go with the update on the website and forums. Then the new manager and I will get to work on some publicity spots to go with the announcement. I mean to do this right all the way."
    "Wow. I'm damn proud of you," Ryan said, reaching out and clasping Xavier's hand.
    "The only thing I'm wondering about is what this decision would mean for you. Will your job be affected?"
    "My boss knows I'm gay along with most of my co-workers. They can't fire me for it because it's against the law. My family and friends knew about my being gay for years."
    "I didn't know that."
    "Never came up because of the contract you had. I figured why I should tell you and add an additional burden. I knew you would make the decision when you felt the right time."
    "You waited quiet all this time for me."
    "I would wait forever." Ryan leaned forward and pressed his lips to Xavier's. "There is no one else for my heart. Not from the moment you opened the door of the suite."
    Clasping a hand around the back of Ryan's neck, Xavier tugged him closer to deepen their kiss. When he was about to roll and stretch them