Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 7

the will to look at the one sitting behind the wheel. "And I think you were right…even if it had been damaged, I would've come back."
    At what point had he started caring, Ty didn't know. But he did care now, and he had avoided caring for as long as he could remember. Perhaps the reason why Josh had been unable to get him to do what Josh had wanted wasn't that he didn't want to. Just that he had cared too little to do it. Or perhaps the reason was sitting next to him.
    Between the ears, not between the legs.
    Ty grinned, absently and far from amused. Chase didn't even need to say a word now and he would've crawled in dirt to do whatever the man wanted. Just to get a chance to do anything. One time wasn't enough. Wouldn't be. And still Ty was unable to ask for more because he wasn't sure if he was allowed to have anything other than his one scene. And wasn't that just sad because he was sure he couldn't get out if he went inside even just once.
    ****
    Ty took his four weeks. And he found no peace from any of those days.
    The tattoo healed. He shed his skin and took care of the scarring skin and admired the end result like he had done every time. And he was completely full of his own cinder, the one he kept pouring from his own mind and couldn't get out.
    Each day was a repetition of the one before. The same routines, the same people. Work became mindless, too blunt to be bothered with and sometimes he wondered if he'd even had anything done, because he couldn't remember the first thing about the hours spent at the office. He met with friends, lived just like he had been living so far. And it felt completely off. Nothing fitted in anymore and nothing felt right.
    He didn't feel lonely. Just alone. And he didn't feel any pain, not even the emotional type, though he knew that sometimes happened. He just felt numb. And while it all looked good and his friends seemed glad to have him around again, Ty didn't bother to mention that the reason for his absence lately was gone too and he could now actually do what he wanted instead of what someone else wanted him to do. Only he was starting to realize that those two things were the same. What someone else wanted was what he wanted. And he was unable to do what was wanted because he didn't know what that was. And when the four weeks period was coming to its end, and Ty was thinking if he should still wait a bit longer, he was still at the office when his phone went off and the sound alone told him who it was that was calling.
    No 'Hi how are you' or any introductions. Just a simple 'hi' followed by his own.
    "How's your arm?" Chase asked. Ty looked at his shirt covered arm that was stretched on top of the papers he had been going through and shrugged though there was no one to see him. "All healed. No need to fix anything."
    "That's good." he heard a door close and then sounds of actual living. Cars and people, dogs barking. "I want you to come by tonight."
    There wasn't even a hint of anything sexual in Chase's words but still Ty felt his skin shiver. "At the shop or –"
    "My place." Oh…okay. Ty fell motionless. He could hardly feel his heartbeat though it had to be there. Chase's place. So it wasn't just kneeling on the floor. And it wasn't tattooing.
    "I want you to work your schedule so that you can stay for the night. And I would pick you up 'cos you won't be able to drive afterwards." More sounds, louder. Chase was outside, on the street somewhere while twisting Ty's insides into knots. And he kept talking, like he wasn't talking about anything more defying than a shopping list. "No permanent damage and no bleeding. I won't break your skin and I won't break your bones but I will hurt you."
    Ty searched his eyes through the room, as if he could find the solution of his monumental issues inside those walls. If he'd had to get up now and walk out, he would've stumbled on the floor, because his limbs were numb. Even his hands, even his fingers that were clinging on to the phone. But he could feel the familiar heat spread inside his flesh, like it had done so many times and would only increase by the second. "And I can still stop at any point?"
    "Of course." The rattle on the line was created by dozens of sounds clashing against one another but Ty only heard the one talking to him with a voice that had the talent to strip him to the bone. Nothing left. Again there was nothing left.
    And then it was quiet. Through the phone Ty heard the jingling created by the small bell