Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 8

brain that things hadn't changed. That Trey was still his best friend, at his back, always there for him, the one guy who would never ask why if he needed help. And now he'd asked, and Trey had said no.
    Not that this was life or death. Josh's mouth might feel like dryer lint at the thought of working a sales counter, but he was a big boy. He could do it. It just felt like he was standing in an elevator and the bottom had dropped out. Like gravity had quit working right. All out of proportion to the real issue of whether Trey was available to help keep Aunt Julie's customers in line.
    Josh wanted to fix this. He needed to. He pulled out his smart phone and got into his email. It took five attempts before he was happy with the message. Not too apologetic, because after all he hadn't done a fucking thing wrong. And yet there seemed to be some apology needed for that appalled expression on Trey's face when he'd opened the door.
    Josh realized that was the part that hurt the worst. He'd been looking forward to that moment since he got on the plane. He'd practically hugged himself realizing that for once he was going to L.A. when Trey was in town. He'd pictured himself showing up on Trey's doorstep and just jumping into a brotherly hug like he hadn't had in years. And they'd done the hug. But first he'd seen Trey's brown eyes widen with shock and dismay at the sight of Josh, and it had felt like his gut was being ripped out.
    Josh wondered what he'd done wrong. Had he missed something in their years of correspondence? His stomach twisted uncomfortably. Had Trey somehow picked up on the fact that Josh was bi?
    He was well aware that Trey was kind of homophobic. Not that they didn't both have a reason, but Josh had put his prejudices behind him in college. He'd realized that the attraction he felt towards women was sometimes eclipsed by his attraction to a man. And after fighting it for two years and dating only women, he'd finally found a guy he couldn't resist. Stefan had been an amazing lover, and Josh finally had to admit that what he felt wasn't just physical availability or some kind of tepid bromance thing. He'd had a full-blown pull out all the stops affair with Stefan. Only the fact that Stef wanted different things from the relationship, and from the sex, had kept Josh from completely falling in love. And since then he'd dated a couple of guys as well as all the girls.
    He'd only told Trey about the girls though. At least as far as he could remember. He thought he'd been careful, using girl names if he did mention a guy. But maybe Trey had seen something or sensed something that made him reluctant to spend a week in the same house with Josh. It made Josh feel a little sick to think Trey might be looking at him and thinking faggot and queer .
    Maybe he was imagining things. Josh clicked on "send" before he could rewrite his email yet again.
    Traffic out of town was miraculously smooth. Josh kept an eye on the road signs, but it wasn't that difficult of a route. Two and a half hours later found him pulling into the driveway past the cursive sign for Believe in Yesterday . The store itself was in a big round barn with board sides newly-painted red and classic white trim. Behind the barn stood the farmhouse, and off to the left Josh could see fences and pasture. He parked in front of the barn door.
    As he switched off the engine and got out, a thin dark-haired woman stuck her head out the door and then came toward him. "I'm sorry, sir. We're closed today, due to unforeseen problems."
    "No, sorry, I'm not a customer. I mean, I'm Josh, Julie's nephew. I'm here to look after the place."
    "Oh, thank God, I'm glad you made good time," the woman said. "I don't mind doing Julie a favor, after all she's a good friend. But I have three kids at home and the oldest is twelve, and I dread to think what they may be getting up to while I've been here. Let me show you the keys and the alarm and give you a quick tour. Then I really have to go."
    Ten minutes later the woman pulled out of the driveway. Josh sighed, locked the store and headed to the house. The front door resisted his key just long enough to make him sweat and then finally opened. He stepped inside and collapsed into a chair.
    There were a dozen things he should do right now. He needed to bring his stuff inside. The animals no doubt needed tending. The neighbor had said Uncle Ted had posted a detailed chart in the feed shed. He should probably water the garden, given