Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 9

thinking. I shook my head and gave her a weak smile. "I'm fine, but thanks."
    I gave myself a mental kick in the ass and stood back up. I had to get it together and carry on. I was being pathetic. No point in mooning over someone who probably wasn't even giving me a second thought.
    Either way, it was the longest week I had ever experienced. As Friday gradually drew nearer, I considered asking one of the jocks for Logan's phone number, but I couldn't face the questions that would raise. Neither of us had exactly hid our dislike of each other.
    I spent the weekend doing laundry and catching up with my friends. I went out a few times, but got frustrated with myself when all I would do was scan the crowds looking at every tall guy with blond hair. I couldn't believe I was obsessing like this. I was pissing myself off. I drank away the remainder of the weekend, counting the hours until I left for the dig again early Monday morning.
    ****
    I swung my car into the parking lot shortly before eight. I was the first to arrive. I drummed my fingers on the wheel, debating whether to wait in the car or to head on over to the usual meeting place. I felt a bit cooped up after the drive, so I got out of the car and swung my backpack over my shoulder—just as another car crunched into the parking lot.
    I looked up quickly, heart pounding. It was a black jeep that I knew belonged to one of Logan's buddies. I watched as two, then three guys got out. Finally, a fourth person unfolded himself from the back of the jeep.
    Logan.
    My mouth went dry and I just watched as he straightened up and stretched, his t-shirt riding up to expose an inch of bare stomach. He grabbed his bag from the trunk before turning around.
    He saw me immediately. He faltered slightly as his eyes fixed on mine. One of the other guys moved in front of Logan, breaking our eye contact, as they organized the rest of their stuff. It was excruciating. I wanted to say so much to him, but I couldn't. I didn't dare. I just stood and watched.
    As more and more students arrived, people started to head up to the campsite—me and Logan included. He kept his distance, although I remained achingly aware of every move he made and every person he spoke to. He seemed quieter, more subdued than he had been the previous time I saw him. I began to wonder if all the talk of him being ill was actually true.
    Despite the continuous blistering heat we were experiencing, Logan never stripped off his t-shirt that day. He was usually the first to parade his assets, so his modesty stuck out like a sore thumb. To me, at least. He also never came closer to me than about twenty feet. There were no jibes, no sarcastic remarks. A few days went by and I had started to lose hope that I would ever get the chance to talk to him, check if he was okay. I never once considered that he would eventually corner me—which is exactly what he did.
    I was leaving the toilet block Wednesday evening, having washed up before bed, when I heard his voice from the shadows.
    "Gabe. Can we talk?"
    I had to let my eyes adjust to the darkness before I saw him leaning against the wall next to the doorframe.
    "Hi … yeah, sure," I said, flicking my towel over my bare shoulder, not missing the way his eyes followed the line of the towel down my naked chest. "Where?"
    "Uh ... " Logan looked around anxiously. He clearly hadn't thought this through.
    "How about the cave?" I suggested. That was far enough away from camp that we wouldn't encounter any eavesdroppers and Logan could say what he needed to say.
    He nodded his agreement.
    We walked in silence, Logan with his hands shoved deeply into his jean pockets while mine gripped tightly on to the ends of my towel. I wanted to touch him, more than anything, but I also wanted to hear what was on his mind.
    The ground had dried up over the past week and there was nothing left of the mud from our previous encounter. We picked our way carefully to the mouth of the cave. I was grateful for the almost full moon which lit our way.
    Once we got inside, Logan sat on a rock and I leaned against the wall a little way from him, not wanting the temptation of being too close.
    "I missed this," Logan said wistfully, gesturing around at the cave.
    I smiled. "Yeah, kind of grows on you, I guess."
    "Yeah."
    Silence stretched awkwardly between us. Logan hung his head, his blond hair falling forward to curtain his face.
    "Are you okay?" I asked quietly.
    Logan pushed his hair out of his eyes and