Love Is Always Write Volume 4

over the wipe-clean menu, that hadn't been wiped clean.
    "I think I'll have the 'penne con...um...whatever.'" Sam jabbed at the menu. He lowered his voice and looked up at Nick, a cheeky grin on his face. "Did you know that 'penne' means 'penis' in Italian?"
    Nick raised his eyebrows. "Does it?"
    "Actually, I dunno if it does. But someone told me it did, so that's the story I'm going with. It's kind of like ordering a great big bowl of cock!"
    Nick sniggered. "Bloody hell Sam, I would've thought you got enough cock as it is."
    Sam put on his best posh voice. "Dahling, one can never get enough cock."
    Nick laughed. Yeah, he was right about that. "Sooo..." He drew out the vowels, stalling for time so he could put into words exactly what he wanted to say. "Do you think you'll always want a bowl of cock to choose from? Or will one piece of penne be enough someday?"
    Nick realised with some concern that it mattered to him what the answer would be.
    "Hmm, dunno." Wrong answer. "I mean a couple of months ago if someone had asked me that, I would definitely have gone for the bowl." He looked directly at Nick. "But now I'm not so sure." That'd do.
    The waitress banged a couple of beers down on the table in front of them. "You ready to order?"
    "Uh yeah. I'll have the 'penne con'...that one." Sam pointed at the menu. "And I don't want a starter size. I definitely want a large one." He winked at Nick.
    The waitress didn't bat an eyelid. She turned to Nick. "And you?"
    "I'll have what he's having." It was Nick's turn to wink.
    ****
    The bowl of cock turned out to be quite tasty, although much to Sam's disgust, a little overcooked. "Dammit, it's supposed to be firmer than this," he sighed.
    "Al dente?" Nick suggested.
    "Al what?" A socked foot crept along Nick's thigh and rubbed against his crotch. Nick closed his eyes, allowing them to roll back a little under the lids. "Never mind. So, what we doing later?"
    "Umm, well I thought you could fuck my brains out? Or I can fuck your brains out if you'd prefer. It's your birthday after all." He paused for a moment. "Or we can do both if you like."
    Now, this was a birthday.
    Nick put his fork down and rested his hand on the table, his fingertips barely touching Sam's. "Thanks Sam. For this. For everything. It's great."
    Sam rubbed his fingers over the top of Nick's. "Well, I'm sorry I couldn't afford anything better, but wait 'til you see what your present is. It's seriously the best present ever ."
    "Can I open it now?"
    "What already?" Sam paused as though he needed to be persuaded, although it was obvious from his fidgeting that he couldn't wait any more than Nick could. "Oh, go on then." He reached down for the plastic bag under the table. "I'll warn you it's more of a tell than a show though. You open the card and then I'll tell you what the present is." He handed a lime green envelope to Nick.
    It was one of those comedy cards with 'Happy Birthday, Dickwad' spelled out in Alphabetti Spaghetti. He might've known. Inside, scrawled in Sam's crazy handwriting was: "Happy Birthday old man. Have a great day. Love ya. Sam." Nick's breath caught a little. Was 'love ya' the same as 'I love you?' Probably not, but for now he'd pretend.
    "Thanks mate." Nick shook the card, and rearranged his face into a disappointed look. "Where's my present then?"
    "Aha, well that's the good bit. Like, really good."
    Sam looked like an excited puppy. As though he might be about to jump up and lick Nick all over. Which wouldn't be so bad.
    "Alright, stop being so pleased with yourself and tell me. Before you explode."
    "Okay, okay, okay. This is soo good. Seriously." He took a deep breath to compose himself. "Right, you know you said it's Libby's birthday on the same day as yours?"
    Nick inclined his head, confused. "Uh, well, yeah."
    "Okay. So, you know you didn't get her a birthday present?"
    Nick nodded again.
    "Well..." Sam was positively vibrating with excitement. "Actually, you did."
    "I did what?"
    "You did get her a present."
    Nick's Adam's apple bobbed up and down. "I what?"
    "You got her a present. Well, actually you got her vouchers, because I didn't know what else to get. But you sent a card too."
    The 'penne con...whatever' congealed in Nick's stomach. He needed to get his head round what Sam was saying. "Are you telling me that you...?" He trailed off, not wanting to vocalise it.
    "Yeah, sorry I had to snoop around a little to get the address and everything, but it was so worth it. And don't