Love Is Always Write Volume 4

couldn't keep it in anymore and even if Zeb wouldn't be able to say the words back he had to tell his lover how he felt.
    Then he heard the front door open and decided he was through listening to his brothers self-righteous preaching about how "throwing his recklessness in his parents' face just to rattle a cage" – his exact words – was a disgrace, or how Steve insisted his little fling would be done the second Chad got sick of supporting his unemployed musician just to have convenient sex at his fingertips. The one that had really stung later was when Steve argued in the other direction. That the family probably shouldn't bother worrying over his obviously poor choice in boyfriend at all since the second Zeb got bored playing house he'd probably leave Chad in a heartbeat. That perhaps the only reason he hadn't already was because Chad was gullible enough to give him a free ride.
    He'd ignored his brother's words when it came to Zeb, but it had forced him to look at his family differently. He'd been so pleased and utterly surprised when he'd come out to them and they seemed to support him. His mother had even tried to fix him up a couple times, but always with stuffy businessmen or lawyers. But that day he realized the acceptance came with conditions. They might tolerate his sexual orientation, but not a boyfriend they considered their social inferior. Those were actually his brother's exact words.
    He'd ushered his brother out, and went immediately to Zeb, needing a hug more than he could remember. Zeb's arms seemed stiff at first, probably seeing that it wasn't just the normal 'hello' hug that was needed, and Chad was reminded again of how Zeb got twitchy around anything resembling feelings. It wasn't that Zeb didn't show them, just that it was obvious the other man felt out of his element when it came to emotional stuff. Sure enough, it only took a moment and Zeb's arms wrapped around him tightly, giving him the comfort he was desperate for after dealing with his brother. Chad didn't discuss the argument or how cold it had left him, other than mentioning his brother was an asshole, and left it at that.
    But that night, lying in bed after making love, listening to Zeb's soft snore next to him, he thought of those three little words. Even now; with the large crowd around him, the band's drumbeat loud and the flashing colored lights going off on stage, all Chad had to do was close his eyes to remember what he'd felt that night.
    ****
    THEN… A LITTLE OVER 3 YEARS AGO
    Chad lay in bed, snuggling a little closer to his sleeping boyfriend and thinking how strange it was that just a couple hours earlier he'd been furious. But what did his brother matter anyway? Steve was barely a part of his life and really didn't know Chad at all anymore. He'd left for college when Chad was in high school and hanging out with the wrong type of crowd. All he remembered from back then was Steve constantly lecturing him about making the right choices for his future and to stop fucking up. So, of course, that's what Steve remembered most about his little brother. It didn't seem to matter that Chad had gotten his shit together, probably because that coincided with when he came out to his family and Steve simply saw that as one more screw up. Now he saw Zeb as another.
    The strange part of it was that Chad was pretty sure Steve actually thought he was doing it for the right reasons. But it was better than his father's cold demeanor, only caring about his successful career and how much money it would make him, or his mother who was so superficial and materialistic that he had a hard time picturing her ever wanting kids in the first place. He just wished Steve wouldn't act like a complete ass about it, and maybe even take the time to get to know his little brother or be a part of his life before he barged in to lecture. Most of all, he wished his brother would take the time to get to know Zeb. If he did, Chad was positive he'd see how wonderful his lover was and how wrong Steve was to stereotype him as some aimless musician.
    God, how wrong that was. Zeb was everything wonderful in his life. He was his stability, his happiness, the reason Chad couldn't wait to get home from work each day. He was also a talented and driven performer that took his music and his life seriously.
    What was he so afraid of? Why not tell Zeb exactly how he felt? So it might end up a little awkward; he could picture the way Zeb would fidget, maybe shuffle his feet